LGBT

Behind the Aegis

(56,108 posts)

8. And there are still many, to this day, who try to shame you for it.

Wed Jan 11, 2012, 04:15 PM

Jan 2012

We struggle with coming to grips with our sexual orientation. Then, we struggle with the decision to "come out" and to whom/when/to what level. Then we muddle through the sexual experiences looking for our "cup of tea." Finally, when struggle to get into and maintain a relationship. Personally, with all the struggling we do, I think a time comes when many of us just say "FUCK YOU! I KNOW who I am! And if you don't like it PISS OFF!"

I think the idea of monogamy is oversold. Just like people come in all types, shades, colors, and orientations, we also have different ways to express ourselves in relationships of our making.

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The Gay Male Couple�s Guide to Nonmonogamy [View all] xchrom Jan 2012 OP

That's been my experience, too MNBrewer Jan 2012 #1

i've never done monogamy -- i'm not interested in it. xchrom Jan 2012 #2

You guys have all the fun... DURHAM D Jan 2012 #3

�Monogamy rarely does work for more than two years � for most straight and bi men as well.� Fearless Jan 2012 #4

+1000! William769 Jan 2012 #5

Amen! queerart Jan 2012 #16

Doesn't the word "rarely" in the quote indicate that it's not 100%? MNBrewer Jan 2012 #20

Rarely assumes that monogamous gays are an extreme minority. Fearless Jan 2012 #24

I think studies bear out that "monogamy" IS in the minority. MNBrewer Jan 2012 #28

That's not true. closeupready Jan 2012 #29

I can't post a link to it. MNBrewer Jan 2012 #32

You asserted the claim, so the burden is your's to substantiate it, not mine. closeupready Jan 2012 #35

See post 34 MNBrewer Jan 2012 #36

That study does NOT support your claim. closeupready Jan 2012 #37

By doing what? MNBrewer Jan 2012 #38

Alright, then MNBrewer Jan 2012 #39

That STILL does not support your initial claim. closeupready Jan 2012 #40

My claim was that most long term couples aren't monogamous MNBrewer Jan 2012 #43

Wrong. The data shows most DO agree to monogamy. closeupready Jan 2012 #44

Wrong MNBrewer Jan 2012 #45

No. The data do NOT show that at all. closeupready Jan 2012 #46

What they said the agreed to was not what they were MNBrewer Jan 2012 #47

ok. I'm done here. You're wrong, but there's no discussing this with you, IMO. closeupready Jan 2012 #48

I have to respectfully disagree. Fearless Jan 2012 #30

How many of those "monogamous" couples really were? MNBrewer Jan 2012 #33

In the second linked article. MNBrewer Jan 2012 #34

To which I add Fearless Jan 2012 #42

This is something often not spoken of in our community. It's an "elephant in the room." Behind the Aegis Jan 2012 #6

in my early years i considered my self a failure for either straying myself or xchrom Jan 2012 #7

And there are still many, to this day, who try to shame you for it. Behind the Aegis Jan 2012 #8

i think part of it was a kind of finally surrendering to being Gay. xchrom Jan 2012 #9

I think you are exactly correct. Behind the Aegis Jan 2012 #10

Lol! - yeah - I didn't want to be misunderstood. Nt xchrom Jan 2012 #11

Interesting. BigDemVoter Jan 2012 #12

Something I think we can all relate to. xchrom Jan 2012 #13

I agree it's situational HillWilliam Jan 2012 #21

Every relationship is different, every circumstance special....My partner and I Rowdyboy Jan 2012 #14

Y'all sound a lot like us HillWilliam Jan 2012 #22

We're pretty much coming from the same place...Don't you love being in love with your best friend? Rowdyboy Jan 2012 #25

It's true. We're like two halves of the same thing. HillWilliam Jan 2012 #27

"... he smells really, really good." LOL, yes, that's always a plus. closeupready Jan 2012 #26

I don't have any problem with open relationships. Not sure why closeupready Jan 2012 #15

IMO, this makes it sound like being gay is all about the sex theAntiRand Jan 2012 #17

You "don't follow the logic"....???? Yes, sex is logical, therefore these couples must be following closeupready Jan 2012 #18

BWAH! HillWilliam Jan 2012 #23

It should be about what is best for the individual Fearless Jan 2012 #19

That's probably what you think. Call Me Wesley Jan 2012 #31

Emotions aren't logical, Mr. Spock. GodlessBiker Jan 2012 #41