The new chapter in Chelsea Manning's story is opening a whole new vista in bigotry here

[Ms. Toad]

17. There is a difference

between formal documents (e.g. if you are a judge or an official of the court, etc.) in which case the legal status matters - and informally discussing those same documents or proceedings.

I use s/he, but ONLY when I don't know, or have not been asked to use, a specific gender (like on DU with ambiguous screen names).

Once I've been told someone's preferred pronouns, I use them - which is consistent with the AP style manual for reporting. If I'm quoting a formal document (or even informal report in which the person's preferred pronouns were ignored) I either try to quote a portion without pronouns, bracket a correction, or label it (sic). The bracketing is often my preference - but doesn't work so well on DU because the bracket I normally use is the same one which marks HTML tags.

In all but formal legal proceedings (where you - specifically - have a duty to be legally accurate), a good general guideline is that people's feelings are more important than legal status, so go with what they ask for.