because sex is not exciting,it's rather mechanical. I love the affection,tho
I wrote this a few years ago it might help you understand asexuality at least what I feel about it.
I must be really weird..
With all this talk of bi phobia,and whether Bi and trans people should be part of the gay movement... It got me thinking..There are other spectrums that go beyond GBL or T..Like me for instance....
Y'all know I am transgender, A male androgyny.Secondly I consider myself bi because I like people,notice I said people not plumbing.I am feline because I don't identify as human,a fur but not like a fetish kind of furry, it's an identity thing..
And on top of all that..I am asexual. Is there a definition for this? I'd hate to see the Acronym..TMABFFA???
Gender? WTF is that to me? What does gender matter to me? Nuthin. Sexual plumbing? So? Everyone's got something down there of some sort if they didn't how would they pee,that would be a helluva problem...So,sex organs to me are like arms,shoulder blades, toes or noses to me.They are body parts.
They hold no special significance to me.Maybe because I have no sex drive. Never have had one. . I don't understand "fantasy"either,or fetish,or "roles". I can imagine stuff in my mind and it's usually artistic psychedelic stuff.I can take myself on some kick ass head trips.I can make myself hallucinate. People say when I describe my imagination to them it's like they trip without drugs.That always makes me laugh.
Sex and the big hoo hah over it is well.. alien to me. It really holds no special fascination to me. Sometimes people get insulted by this,disbelieve me,or they consider me really messed up or some prude. They don't understand me at all because they can't pigeonhole me...Porn is boring to me,it's got bad acting and it's the same thing over and over. Sex is rather mechanical,boring too.I once as an experiment,tried to imagine what a "sexual fantasy" might be like, and it became some artistic idea in about 3 minutes.When I like someone,it never looks like porn, or sexual stuff like other people have described what their fantasies are like to me....mine always ends up psychedelic art..I have orgasms I am not frigid,I have to pretend my body is different to do it, but it can occur with alot of mental effort on my part,that intense imagination helps but also it kinda renders me less participatory.More detached.Some people get confused by this..To me orgasms are the little seizure like things,just a body function,no more exciting than blowing my nose.
This is because it's always the same thing..do it once, why need I bother with it again? yeah it does release tension in the body. I use it for that. But it's no different than a hot bath or something like that and a hot bath is less work.
It's the same old seizure thing.woo woo. But for me every conversation is different and every adventure is different.
Like I said I am weird.
For me I fall in love the asexual way, with the mind the heart the soul of the person. I get into who they are,and for me their body disappears,and my body dissapears..I get lost in the conversation, creating art,dancing, running around outside,goofing off,adventures,basically playfulness, mutual exploration of each others person hood.
Sex never occurs to me as something to do on my own. I don't initiate it it just never occurs to me to do it because there are so many other things to do that are more fun.It does occur to them tho. So I indulge them with it because It does something for them,it's because I empathize,yet I don't understand it myself..I enjoy the touching the closeness.The intimacy,the silliness .The journey shared.
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