I have a serious question about verbiage.

[Behind the Aegis]

3. "Queer" has always been a bit of a sitcky wicket.

In some cases, people use 'queer' so they don't have to recite the alphabet when discussing our issues or get accused of sexism by short handing and using 'gay.' The word is gender neutral, so many of the younger generation use it in order not to "tie themselves" to a particular identity. People around my age (46) use it as a form of protest and a reclaiming of the word, as it were, much the same way we reclaimed the inverted pink triangle.

My suggestion is, unless you are really close to these people, avoid using the word, until you are given the green light. Think of it as being able to call an adult by his/her first name when you were younger, if the adult said it was OK, you could do it, but understood, there may be limitations as to when and where you could do it without raising eyebrows (or in this case, causing offense). Of course, rather than play the waiting game, you could simply ask and let them explain the nuances as it applies to their environment.