even at a young age (kindergarten), I couldn't understand why it was okay for me to have a crush on the boy, but not the girl. If I like her, and I like him...why can't I have crushes on either or both of them?
As I got older (meaning in the 9-12 year stage) I had several firsts with other girls -- first kiss, first french kiss, first dry humping, first...well, waaay past 3rd base for sure with 2 other girls on a camping trip. Similar experiences with boys were many years off.
I had never heard the term "bisexual" until I was maybe a Jr or Sr in high school. I knew my sexuality was nebulous, but I didn't know that one needn't be straight OR gay, because I never felt that I fit in either one of those categories comfortably. All of the liberal-bent sex-ed books I was given by my mom or came across as a young person only dealt with the binary -- straight or gay, straight or lesbian. No bisexuality at all, and certainly nothing about gender fluid, asexuality, transgender (I think back then we still used the horrible antiquated terms to describe transgender folks)
So when did I discover...I think I always knew. I just didn't know there was a name for it, or that I wasn't the only one, or that there were others like me until I was well into my 20's.
Thankfully, my husband (who is straight) is very accepting that he has a bisexual wife, and we have been very fortunate to find a community of other straight-appearing, monogamish couples with bisexual female-halves that we spend time with. I feel more alive and open, sexually, in my 30's and 40's than I ever did as a younger person or young adult.
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