Way back in the 70's, my mom broke down and told me Dad was a "homosexual."

[pnwmom]

6. Yes,it wasn't long ago that "it's so gay" was a common way to disparage something

even among young people who would INSIST it had nothing to do with gay people.

One of these was my own teenage niece -- the daughter of my sister who was still in denial. When she said her math test was so gay, and I started to reply, I could see my sister holding her breath, watching me. I knew if I told my niece about her grandfather I wouldn't be able to see my sister's family again. So I just pointed out to her that saying something you didn't like was "gay" was very hurtful. She said that it had nothing to do with gay people, it was just an expression. I said that the problem was you never know who might be gay and whose feelings you might be hurting when you said it. And THEY wouldn't know how you felt about gay people. And then she said that her best friend's brother was gay! And I said, imagine how your friend feels to hear that expression. How her brother feels. And I could see the wheels turning. She didn't argue with me. I doubt that she used the expression again, at least purposely.

At some point along the way my sister finally told her children about dad. But, living in that little red town, she told them not to tell anyone, because it could hurt them if people knew. And so it goes on.

Thank you for sharing your own story. I am so sorry that that's how you had to grow up -- that anyone had to grow up like that. It infuriates me that some people are still trying to push people like you and my dad out of the light.