Invisible Women

[zazen]

12. actually, do you 40-50-somethings seem to elicit new male resentment?

I don't mean that you _cause_ it.

But I've been meaning to ask and this seems as good a forum as any.

I've noticed lately a new type of hostility coming from some older men. I think these are the guys who didn't feel that they were very successful with women, but now that they're older, they seem to relish the opportunity to rub my face in ageism/sexism.

I note this because, I still get asked out a lot, so I think if they didn't find me attractive, they wouldn't be putting me down. They'd just truly ignore me as an invisible older woman.

However, it's not the put-down I used to get as a younger women--the "lighten up honey" or "you stuck up bitch" sort of thing by guys who felt rejected.

It's an anger on a different level. It's really quite weird. It's happened a few times in the past year--guys reminding me of my age, suggesting I'm older than I am, which is mid-40s. (I'd believe I might look older than that, except I'm hit on by enough younger guys to think that's not really the case.) But what matters isn't how old I look-- it's just that these guys seem to go out of their way to put me down.

Any of you notice this from men now that you're in your 40s and 50s? I was prepared for invisibility, but not for outright hostility.