For goodness sakes. These are conversations, not just lectures or statements.

I'm also in my 4th or 5th year of stage IV. I did try oral chemo at the end, but stopped my particular kind (Stivarga, which was new to the market and FDA-fast tracked. I got almost every single side effect listed, and was sleeping up to 20 hours a day. It was ridiculous so I stopped. I don't know if your condition is fast moving or slow moving, but this is one of those things you need to keep in mind, as I'm sure you know. Personally I was told I was basically over the "good drugs" (meaning ones with minimal or tolerable side effects) and it was mainly just nastier stuff ahead of me. I eventually just stopped treatment.

Yah, I think my doctor asking if my affairs are in order (whether they were or not) would kind of catch my attention. "Umm, Doc, can I ask why you thought you needed to bring that issue up?". Asking if you've set up a living will or DNR is valid to what they do, but asking if your affairs are in order? Either you're in bad shape or you need a new doctor.

I'm only a few days into this hospice thing (just got oxygen tanks today ) but the hospice team seems to be far more helpful than I expected. I was reluctant at first but now am starting to find it's a really nice resource and lifts the burden for most people involved (not just the patients). Still in the getting used to it phase.

I guess the direction we are going in can't easily be changed (just talking medically) but how conduct ourselves on what is a terminal hike is what defines us as a person.