Things are not great.

[DFW]

42. The second time she was diagnosed, she was warned that this form of cancer was known as "the murderer."

It is rare, only strikes women who are elderly (she was 64 at the time) or very slender. At 5'10" and 130 pounds, she qualified. It is classified as "always fatal," with maybe on in ten thousand surviving it. My wife's diagnosis was by pure accident, just a tiny spot with zero manifestations. The reason it is called the murderer is that it is completely silent. By the time it shows, it is too late.

With my wife, it was three tiny spots on her uterus during a routine exam due to some tiny bleeding. The doctors said they were too tiny to be anything significant, but since she had already had cancer once (breast cancer at age 49), they'd biopsy the three spots just to be absolutely sure. On a woman with no cancer history, they probably wouldn't even have bothered. Two of the spots were indeed nothing, but the third one turned out to be The Murderer.

She was sent immediately to a specialty clinic that fortunately happened to be right here in Düsseldorf. We talked with the surgeon, who told us flat out that the murderer usually always claimed its victim, but he also said that he had NEVER seen it in this early a stage. They did a 5½ hour operation that left her in such pain when she woke up, she made liberal use of a spinal infusion of morphine any time she pressed the button. They only left that in a couple of days to prevent risk of infection. In such operations, they apparently usually take 10-15 biopsies to see if the cancer has spread, and if so, where. In her case, they took 84 biopsies (!!!). It took three days to get the results, but ALL 84 came back negative, something he said he had never seen before. The surgeon called us in, and gave us his opinion. He said usually a round of chemo was standard, but he thought that after the operation and the biopsy results, he thought that this one time, he had really gotten it all. He said it was her/our option, but this one time, he said he thought no chemo would make a difference. She remembered how awful the chemo was after her breast cancer, and said she was willing to take the risk, if he thought it was 50-50 that it would make no difference. That was 7 years ago, and she feels and looks fabulous for someone who is 71 and has had cancer treatment twice. She looks fabulous even for someone who is 71 and has had nothing at all.

So, while everyone is different, and I hope I can put up such a show of fortitude when it's my turn, she is a shining beacon for what can happen if you at least give yourself a chance in your own mind. I hope you have a few similar rabbits in your own hat, even if you have to scrounge around for them. Always keep a few carrots around just in case.