Going to drop university again.

[Locut0s]

4. That could be Tobin...

BTW thanks for the message before!

It's true that I find it difficult to open up to even counsellors and therapists about all of my symptoms. A lot of this has to do with not even realizing what all my symptoms are. I've spend a life time bottling up and hiding my emotions from others. No one at school or work has ever known I was suffering intense emotional pain till the day I just stop showing up. In fact people think I'm a happy well adjusted easy going person because that's the image I struggle to maintain. That IS me but I have layers and layers of anxiety on top of this that I'm busy constantly bottling up. So while I may me laughing and joking with my fellow students I'm internally exerting about 10x as much energy as anyone else in the room. I'm NEVER relaxed. I've been doing this my whole life so it's just 2nd nature to me.

I'm thinking maybe I can spend these summer months trying to tackle this problem more head on than I ever have in the past. This won't be easy either. I'll try to seek out a therapist and actually do the work required of me this time.

I'm going to go in this Monday to speak with a counsellor at my school to see where I stand and what options I have at this point. Maybe there is a more graceful way to quit. I don't think I'm screwed as far as next term goes SHOULD I choose to go back. These 2 extra courses that I'm dropping aren't prerequisites for anything. I'd just have to retake them.

Thanks for the support BTW it means a lot!!