How to Eat Alone (and Like It) [View all]

[elleng]

Last edited Mon Nov 4, 2019, 01:14 PM - Edit history (1)

Table for one? It’s not as bad as it sounds. Here’s how to dine by yourself and enjoy every bite.

'When the ancient Roman politician Lucius Lucullus noticed his night’s menu looking dull, he gave instructions to his cook to prepare a lavish, multiple-course feast. When the cook asked what type of guests to expect, he responded with indignation: “Dost thou not know that today Lucullus dines with Lucullus?” . . .

For those of us who never refer to ourselves in the third person and often eat a cold egg roll standing over the sink for dinner, Lucullus’s attitude can feel more than a little foreign. . . Yet, there is a freedom in eating alone, even if we need a little help to relish in it: no discussions of what we should order, no small talk, no sharing.

In her book “Serve It Forth,” the 20th century food writer M.F.K. Fisher described watching an elderly man eating alone with an almost religious reverence. He slowly consumed half an avocado sprinkled with powdered sugar and soaked in Russian kümmel liqueur. “He was at peace, and aware — aware that Lucullus dined with Lucullus for a reason,” she wrote.

Dine alone, but engage with others

...Instead of the usual odes to coupledom, Ms. Cohen created a solo diner’s tasting menu for the holiday. In the years since she started the tradition, a kind of community has formed, with regulars who come in alone but soon get to know the staff and other guests.

“Make the most of it. Engage with your server; don’t be afraid to ask for things,” she said. . .

Go in with a strategy . . .

Megan Bruneau, a therapist and executive coach who has written about loneliness, has an idea about why some people thrive with alone time. “They’re more able to sit with the discomfort of passing emotions, and thus they don’t fear them as much,” she said in an email. . .

It all comes down to knowing your needs and coming up with coping mechanisms that work best for you, according to Ms. Bruneau. For some people that might mean sitting quietly and savoring each bite, but for others that could be phoning a friend while eating or even — that most taboo dinnertime activity — eating in front of the TV. . .

Embrace your guilty pleasures

While “solo dining” might conjure up images of a corner booth at a cafe or a bar stool at a local restaurant, the ultimate solo dining experience is eating home alone. It’s when we’re home alone — with no one watching what we’re eating, how or where — that our quirks, eccentricities and guilty pleasures come out.'>>>

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/30/smarter-living/how-to-eat-alone-and-like-it.html?