They caught two suspects in the Tulsa shootings

[provis99]

29. since you think Jeff Cooper is funny, here are some real zingers to make you laugh:

In Vol. 9, No. 8 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in August 2001, Cooper wrote, “I am told by ‘new soldiers,’ even Marines, that what once was considered normal disciplinary procedure is today held to be legally reprehensible. During my own tour as company commander I never once sent a man before a court. I didn't need to. I had sergeants. How today's captains proceed without sergeants is beyond me. But how to proceed with perverts and girl warriors is also beyond me.”

In Vol. 9, No. 6 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in June 2001, Cooper wrote, “It is indeed a troublesome thing to observe the historical tomfoolery of many of our modern activists. I recently saw a statement to the effect that six million Negros died in the slave trade between Africa and the New World. Considering that a slave trader only made money out of a live slave, this would seem very poor economics, but beyond that it is doubtful if there were six million Negros available in Africa at any one time to be enslaved.” Of the estimated 20 million Africans sold into slavery, roughly half died during the excursion from their homelands to the African coast. Millions more African slaves died during the Middle Passage voyage between Africa and the New World. Cooper also added, “We have reports from the military to corroborate this. We are told of young men signing up for the military service who have never: slept on the ground, cleaned a fish, climbed a mountain, thrown a punch, ridden a horse, shot a rifle, sailed a boat, changed a wheel, built a fire, [or] read the Bible. I suppose many of these young men know all about sexual perversion, the use of the hypodermic needle, auditory abuse, political correctness, gender equality, and ‘global warming.’ It is hard to say what is to be done.”

In Vol. 9, No. 5 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in May 2001, Cooper wrote, “There is no more American way of spending a snowy Wyoming morning than listening to [conservative talk show host] Rush Limbaugh while loading ammunition. Our friend Rush sometimes gets a little overblown in his presentations, but certainly his heart is in the right place.” Limbaugh has been frequently criticized for his statements about minorities, women, and gays. Cooper added, “If the Chinese fighter pilot, Wang Wei, is an example of the breed, we take that as a good development. If Chinese fighter pilots are incapable of keeping distance in the air, it is nice to have them on the other side. Should we add the term ‘Chinese fighter pilot’ to what we used to call ‘a Chinese fire drill’? We should not get our hopes up, however. The rest of that crew may be more skillful.” Wang Wei was a Chinese pilot who died in a mid-air collision with a U.S. Navy aircraft in 2001. The accident caused an international dispute between the United States and China.

In Vol. 9, No. 3 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in March 2001, Cooper wrote, “It would appear that that small, black cloud on the horizon is the specter of a general Moslem war against the West − something which should be put off as long as possible, but is probably going to be with us in due course.” He also added, “Someone has observed that if you find yourself in San Francisco, be careful upon leaving not to look back, lest you be turned into a pillar of salt.” Cooper was referring to the biblical story of God’s destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of the inhabitant’s sinful behavior (God warned that anyone who looked back at the ruins of the cities would be turned into a pillar of salt). He also wrote, “As I understand it, slavery was abolished in this country in 1865. The issue is closed. Buying those people from their friends in Africa and bringing them over here was a great mistake and we have suffered for it for a long time. Perhaps we should let the matter drop.”

In Vol. 8, No. 13 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in December 2000, Cooper published the following excerpt of a song written by his daughter Lindy: “The sun shines bright/On the old Kentucky home/'Tis summer/And all the African−Americans are homosexual.” In Vol. 9, No. 3 of the Commentaries, Cooper stated that his daughter was updating the pre-Civil War song “My Old Kentucky Home,” which opens with the lines, “The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home/Tis summer/the darkies are gay.” The song’s status as the official song of Kentucky has been called into question for the song’s use of racially disparaging terms for African Americans. “Clearly we had to restructure this because we cannot longer use the term ‘darky,’ and ‘gay’ has been rerouted,” explained Cooper.

In Vol. 8, No. 3 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in March 2000, Cooper wrote, “It appears that this baseball player [Atlanta Braves reliever John] Rocker has stated publically that he dislikes having to ride public transportation in company with scruffies. On this he has been sent to Coventry, where presumably they regularly wash his mouth out with soap. Does anybody really like to ride with scruffies? Social censorship − miscalled ‘political correctness’ − is reaching new lows all the time.” Cooper was reacting to the following comment that Rocker made when asked during an interview if he would like to play baseball in New York: “I would retire first. It's the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the [Number] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you're [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing. The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. I'm not a very big fan of foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?” Cooper also wrote, “They had a big raffle [election] recently in Zimbabwe (Rhodesia). To everyone's intense surprise, Comrade [Robert] Mugabe was the winner of the grand prize. For all our putative rejection of ‘racism,’ it is sometimes hard to take these popinjays seriously.” Zimbabwe has not been called Rhodesia since before 1980 when white supremacist apartheid supporter Ian Smith ruled the country.

In Vol. 5, No. 12 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in November 1997, Cooper wrote, “Note that after the emasculation of both VMI [Virginia Military Institute) and the Citadel, there is now a move afoot to establish a ‘Southern Military Institute’ in the hill country of northern Alabama. This academy is projected as male, Christian, private and white, about as ‘politically incorrect’ as one can get. It will be interesting to see whether it actually gets underway. If this is truly a free country, as we keep telling ourselves, there is no reason why it should not.” Cooper’s mention of VMI was likely a reference to the 1996 Supreme Court case United States vs. Virginia that ended the institution’s practice of only admitting male students. He went on to write, “We are now given to understand by a police firearms instructor of wide background and experience that lesbians make lousy shots. Normal girls, on the other hand, tend to do rather well on the range. Is there a point to be learned here?”

In Vol. 5, No. 10 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in September 1997, Cooper wrote, “In current usage the solecism ‘homophobe’ has begun to intrude. Upon analysis this term signifies an irrational terror of being the same. It is used to designate one who is disgusted by sexual perversion, in which sense it is quite incorrect, because fear or terror, either reasonable or unreasonable, is implied. Perhaps we should all brush up on our Greek.” He went on to share a letter he sent to the editorial board of the Arizona Republic (that the newspaper declined to publish) on the subject of cockfighting: “In your letters column we note a continuing rumble on the part of certain people calling for the prohibition of chicken fighting in Arizona. While we must certainly admit the presence of ruffled feathers on the part of those who are distressed by chicken fighting, we must at the same time protest that it seems uppity for us to deny our Latino residents such pleasure as they may derive from the conduct of one of their public ethnic enjoyments … I have attended various cock fights in both Latin America and the Philippines, and as with vodka, while I have not been enthused, neither have I been repelled. The birds lay into each other with unaffected enthusiasm. The end they suffer in the ring would seem preferable to that which they would otherwise suffer in the barnyard.”

In Vol. 4, No. 9 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in August 1996, Cooper wrote, “It turns out that a number of governments in the world manifest considerable distress at the idea of large amounts of ammunition in private hands. They insist that any man who stockpiles thousands of rounds must have some sinister and ulterior purpose which should be investigated by the state. Here we have yet another example of the thought control characteristic of the Age of the Common Man. Many on the left seem to hold that one may be punished not for what he does, but for what he thinks−as with what have come to be called ‘hate crimes.’ In this age of thought−control, various sorts of busybodies, in and out of government, feel the need to arrange your thinking for you. In this matter of ammunition, I personally like to keep a large supply on hand, not for any specific purpose, but simply because it makes me feel good … As you know, there are people such as [Democratic] Senator [Patrick] Moynihan who feel that the subtle way to disarm the people is to cut off the supply of ammunition. We hope that such people do not prevail, but it does not hurt to be prepared for unpleasant eventualities−thus we have seatbelts, crash helmets, life jackets, and pistols.”

In Vol. 4, No. 1 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in January 1996, Cooper wrote, “Reluctant as we may be to compliment a dictator who prefers to be addressed as ‘Comrade,’ we are compelled to do so in the case of Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe. He officially refers to homosexuals as ‘perverts who do not deserve civil rights.’ In his words, ‘Let the Americans keep their sodomy, bestiality, stupid and foolish ways to themselves. Let the gays be−gay−in the United States and Europe, but they shall be sad people here.’ How about that?”

In Vol. 2, No. 8 of Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries published in July 1994, Cooper wrote, “An informal poll conducted in the area of Harare (ex−Salisbury, Rhodesia) indicates that the great majority want Ian Smith back in place of Robert Mugaby. If Mugaby finds out about this, Mr. Smith's head rests very lightly on his shoulders.” Ian Smith was the white supremacist leader of Rhodesia who enforced white minority rule of the nation until 1980. Robert Mugabe became president when the country declared independence from the British and became Zimbabwe. Cooper also described a business deal gone sour involving the sale of Gunsite, his firearms training facility, as “the great lynch party of April Fool 1993.” Turning to the topic of the Vietnam War, Cooper described Vietnamese as “slant−eyed little fiends.” He then added that, “If Nicole Simpson had studied at Gunsite she would now be a wealthy widow.” Simpson was murdered in 1994 and her ex-husband former NFL star O.J. Simpson was eventually acquitted after being charged in connection with her death. Cooper then recommended that his readers purchase “Racism, Guilt and Self−Deceit" by M. Gedahlia Braun, stating “His work, which is very carefully researched and irreproachably objective, is not politically correct, which may be its strongest recommendation.” In the book’s forward, Braun writes, “It was obvious to [black Africans] that whites were ‘cleverer’ and they made no bones about it. It is whites who feel guilty about this and blame themselves for black failure. Shrewd blacks use this ‘guilt’ to blackmail, browbeat and bamboozle whites. This sham anger is a principal weapon of psychological warfare. It is used by women against men, blacks against whites, homosexuals against straights and islam [sic] against the West—though always with the help of the (alleged) wrong-doers … Blacks are deficient in abstract thinking and this leads to moral blindness … Blacks’ difficulty in thinking of the future explains, e.g., their high rate of criminality and HIV.”