My son has basically ended a friendship

[brett_jv]

17. Your son sounds like a great kid ... kudos!

I did want to also say ... I don't really 'get' the notion of having an objection to how African Americans speak to one another ... I've been around plenty of African-Americans (including lots of time with folks on the lower end of the socio-economic strata), and they use the "n-i-double-g-a" word very frequently, both when referring to themselves and others (and even me sometimes). I think for a white person to 'take offense' at the use of this word by black people speaking amongst themselves is really ... just ... unfathomable to me. It's none of 'our' damn business, frankly, and to do so makes otherwise good and well-intended progressive folk such as ourselves come off as really being pretty douc ... errrr ... I'm guessing that's considered a 'bad word' on DU so I won't say it, but ... you get the idea.

I would also suggest to your son the idea that it's really what's in his friends heart that counts. Kids that age are often desperate to find their 'place' in the world, to find where they 'fit in' to the scheme of things. If the red-heads use of this word is an actual 'illustration', if you will, of true racism in his heart, then I certainly would understand not wanting to have someone like that as a friend. If, OTOH, he's using it simply to 'fit-in', as 14-year old boys are wont to do ... then, unless your son were black himself, I'm not sure I understand 'taking offense' to the use of this word by the other boy to the point where your son 'doesn't want to be friends anymore'.

But that's just me ... I'm pretty 'forgiving' of kids who I think are just trying to find their place in this mad, mad world.