My dad's mother had bone straight hair and blue eyes - she could have passed for white but chose not to. She was born in Mississippi at the turn of the last century to a mixed race couple so her experience was that of a black woman. Her ten kids ranged from looking like her to my dad (dark complexion think Idris Elba but with Dark Blue Eyes). My grandfather who teased me mercilessly about not being his grandbaby because of the goldilocks I had when I was little was very very dark. 
He was also a bad ass - and we have no wonders about why she picked him as a spouse as a result of having knowledge of his bad assery. My grandmama only liked white people in her family.
Her life experience and how she experienced America dictated that. I have compassion for that - yet consider myself lucky for being born into the same family dynamic in the 1970s.
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