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[jfz9580m]

19. I CAN BE TRUSTED

Last edited Mon Apr 20, 2026, 11:37 PM - Edit history (2)

(damn you all. I look crazy. I only have the imaginary version of the structure “we” all know exists implicitly in reality as humans amd human scientists.

Where are all the other “real” people?
Is everyone a goddamn centrist to this extent?

Oh come on. This is lame.
This is clearly your fault dammit.

You weighted effort, work and reality wrongly by my estimate on trivial stuff and serious stuff.


If it is not clear why I have spent less time on science than “we” typically tend to, it is because I do take politics seriously and have been puzzled and distrait about how unsustainable human society is for real since around the 2001, when my own life started to improve a bit after I first came to the U.S. because I finally found a really cool research lab in the natural sciences.

That was when I realized I disliked engineering and should have majored in physics. The physics of living things is interesting.

It is just that I am not wildly original so I have not acted on my originality much since these societies are very alienating being full of people across the board who have outbred anyone I would want to know.

I would rather not live in societies where I have to explain why ventilation shutdown and factory farming and wet markets are horrors and it is just shameful when torturing poor Dr Fauci is the only animal rights issue that animates the masses..
I don’t want to get into it. Tiresome..

Except for a subset of scientists and lefties, I find communication to be torture.


But when you start thinking of game theory and evolution it becomes less torture filled to the extent that if you get it right..


That is why I was so relieved to find Yasha Levine. One cannot cede entire categories like “language” and now apparently “state funded science” to the US National Security State.

But the reason I noticed Prof Lecun (i have been trashtalking CS because those people are idiots and what passes for the left - hey calm down! I am on the same team damn you. Just not as invested in losing to douchey conservatives all the time.
You can have all the noise making parts. It is the takeover of the quiet spaces that most of life happens in wbich

This is very confusing.
Obviously that “eyes of a child”, “emperor’s new clothes” stuff is pure BS.

But how are these guys gaming us all when they are clearly not that bright and there is not even that many of them I bet, but they have these yes men and yes women presumably.

And the thing about Yasha Levine or Chris Ketcham is that yeah they are left and anti-establishment recognizably but they are also not crazy.
This is neither an emergency nor not an emergency to the extent tbat the same fine minds that brought you all the callousness at scale that goes into managing factory farms is now bending that same doltish insight into managing human society.

Experiments like these wiil end up being as sophisticated as one allows them to be.

Actually humans are very important, but it isn’t something “coding skills” will get you and absent gang signs a

I was thinking yeaterday that the most honest parts of the US National security should appreciate people like Yasha Levine, Chris Ketcham and Nathan Robinson.
Or even people like me

My dad is a military vereran. Indian Navy, but still.

I am not a dilettante. I am just overwhelmed with information.

I guess at a deep level, I am not a person motivated by “morality and ethics”, which do seem very superficial considerations.

These are things humans know implicitly a lot. I have sunk my own resources into things - I am instinctually inclined to think there is never any point in communication etc since like minded people get it and the others won’t.

But sometimes you realize with shock …various things one realizes with shock.


The point is you have to take everything seriously. Science and basic civilization.

I use DU as it is a useful tool wrt information communication as EarlG can be trusted completely (and elad and Skinner).


The national security state has to be all over all these technologies and that is why it is off balance.

One of the ways, as I understand science and reality even complex ones (and really in a way my voluntarily self-isolation as I see fit. Oh and reading doesn’t kill people you know. Maybe you should have the ability to parse meandering text without whining all the time. Fortunately for you, that eliminates one set of morons. Otoh it acquires another set.

What makes something repellant enough that the wrong kinds of people (e.g. Ben Waber or Ben Wray) stay away, but the right types of people (Yasha Levine or Chris Ketcham)

It’s fascinating. All the people worth knowing are hard to know not because they are wealthy and bunker elites. I always wonder about those fawning press people you see brainlessly cover Ambani’s wedding or Taylor Swift’s shopping etc. I never understood why it is that way till recently I figured that if all the things one believes are more or less more true than not the implications are depressing but freeing..Depressing because things are as bad as ever.

But freeing because humans have too many things we latch on to strongly to explain things you simply cannot..

Epstein explains a lot about what was confusing me. I don’t normally associate dilettantism in science with profoundly evil and nihilistic.

That is about it. I have been in “Fight Flight Freeze or Fawn” Mode since the Fall of 2011.

Chris Ketcham’s email made me recognize more formally the game theoretic aspect.

I avoid a lot of people who are on the same general side but Type A. I also support the goals of “morality and ethics”. I still reserve the right to find Stanford and Harvard Type As too profoundly exhausting without even the excuse of “It is hard science and we cannot dilute the standards.”

That is the sole area of overlap I have with various (no doubt) exhausting people I try not to know while I go about my sinful life while also avoiding other moral transgressors. I do not think a little bit of self abuse (partying) is the same as normalizing perverted contracts.

I don’t care for deception. I am okay with “creativity” and sorry about all the use of “quotes”.

I saw something cool the other day:
https://www.theguardian.com/games/2022/dec/13/first-time-as-a-d-and-d-dungeon-master-dungeons-and-dragons


There has to be a non humiliating way to survive as the type of human who doesn’t cede any ground, but doesn’t take any either.

*A surly villager enters and says*
“I refuse to give up solitary coping mechanisms because this is apparently where you get when humor is only the alt right’s version of humor with only the most defanged and lame shit being mainstream -only now “left” and right certified lameness.”

Where I disagree it is more around minimalism, accuracy etc. It is not aesthetic!

There work and play look tiresome. They are awful and annoying. Help!

Phew. I really owe the left. Thank God.
It is hell! It is very sitcom esque if I could establish contact with Current Affairs and Yasha Levine.

I love DU and EarlG but ..It is those fake merds of Google. No one objects to real nerds.


They are trying to shill that lame hated corporate shit as nerdy and its not. But as a staunch lefty I feel like all the treasure is being thrown away in real time for the least meaningful insights.
Thats wht I was looking hopefully at Prof Ryan Williams who works on complex systems and studies algorithms while being recognizably human.
I would be shocked if he was not cool. His wife is a scientist.


It is the most disappointing experience women face. Anytime you are sure someone male is cool and it turns out they aren’t.
But I realize now that having had 33 years of a fairly amicable relationship with other humans-male, female, Indian, American, all races etc interpersonally before stumbling online.

Which is not my thing. I am not polarizing nor insipid. You are just not getting the message if you process me as such.

I have had lots of time to think about all this ans rewire them to the “is obviously not kayfabe or some sort of horrible mental disease or memory issue dammit.”

I.cannot just shut off problem solving parts of the brain where I legitimately don’t know where the controls are.


But I am seriously trying to help. In general.
Doesn’t anyone remember how anything works



That’s okay. We can put it back together better. But where we can’t you can go flub your parts but I am part of society dammit! You just keep trying to make me the annoying part.
And my goal is to prove that “no you are the annoying part!”

You are why people have more discomfort and inconvenience but ..

It is a lot to prove. But it has to be doable because look where we are!

You continue to amplify stupidity and shut down the opposite by not getting what anything means and after this passionate and desperately sincere appeal (8:43 am April 21, 2026) I will forget about it and only vaguely remember having posted something embarrassing online that unless used to shove it ..in a very nice, calm, non violent, friendly, likable way..


I don’t understand why you think there is something sleazy and manipulative about normal survival gambits.

If you were less “wholesome”, it would all be less creepy.
If Prof Hennessy and his ilk did not recognize the extreme condescension I am extending in magnanimously labeling Prof Hennessy “Probably not a creep”.

And that Phyllis lady who was correct about Elizabeth Holmes is also the type of woman I keep at arm’s length, though I respect her. But I am not stupid and I would not let a tiresome type A (I am a feminist as well and I am seriously not allowing you to use the creeps aa an excuse to force various annoying and strenuous things. I say to you what I say to your tiresome male counterpart: I spent 47 years trying to copy you reflexively and that was not worth it.
I agree the hippie stoner who never gets off their ass and pontificates in futility is a lame cliche as well. That was why I liked Lina Khan.




I am team SJW etc where it is the original “losers” who like Tarana Burke are behind something before it catches on.
But I am not a mimic or copycat either and so far you have not seemed that invested in ..you know..not being annoying.

I am sorry. I am in the same dilemma. The least annoying thing I could do is work quietly in my field without..
I am not solipsistic. But I just canned shit and stuff that fails no matter what.


I have one healthy human brain.

Anyway I wanted to apologize to anyone I have ever dissed where it is not still up.

I don’t really diss people. For one thing I no longer feel angry in quite the same way.

And that wouldn’t br my strategy. You want enough room to do your own thing without ..m


I was frowning over these. I will make a list of

https://www.theguardian.com/games/2022/dec/13/first-time-as-a-d-and-d-dungeon-master-dungeons-and-dragons