The a-word [View all]

[rug]

namaste y’all

By Chelsea Sawicki | January 28, 2014

So, I’m an atheist. No, not your friendly neighborhood agnostic or non-practicing Protestant, but an actual atheist. I don’t believe in God. Trying to convince me to believe in God is like trying to convince me to like country music or become a Republican (don’t waste your time). I just cringed a bit, because that is usually a difficult thing for me to say. While I’ve been an atheist for as long as I can remember, the associated stigma and awkwardness mean that I’m often uncomfortable admitting it.
What do you think?

This discomfort began around age 8, when my Christian classmates (basically all of them) began receiving their First Communion. They wore fancy clothes and had parties and presents and all that jazz. At one of these parties, a friend’s mom inquired as to my own religious beliefs. “What church do you attend? Who is the priest? When is your First Communion?” When I told her that I didn’t believe in God and would, therefore, not receive my first (or second, or any) communion or spend any time in any church, she told me to take back my words or I would end up in hell. “But I don’t believe in hell.” (She nearly choked.) Later that night, she called my (atheist) mother to inform her of my “inappropriate” behavior. Naturally, I wasn’t invited to anymore play dates.

Once my young self learned of this atheist stigma, I fabricated numerous false religious identities. I’d rather lie than let people think I’m a bad person! It seemed like everyone in my hometown attended one of three churches and was either Catholic or Protestant. As a result, whenever questioned, I lied and said I was Jewish or a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Mormon and attended a temple 20 miles away in the middle of the forest. This caused quite a bit of eyebrow raising but usually worked, aside from the few times I encountered an actual Jew or Mormon with knowledge of such a temple. As I grew older, I identified simply as not religious, which seemed always more acceptable than atheism.

These encounters with curious Christians instilled in me a bizarre (and inappropriate) desire to mock them. And when I say them, I’m referring to people like my friend’s mother, Gov. Rick Perry and perhaps the Pope. While I’m not always vocal about it, in my head I refer to these folks as closed-minded, backward, proselytizing Jesus freaks. I’m usually that annoying troll, harassing people on pro-life Huffington Post forums or www.ConcernedWomenForAmerica.com. Not only do I feel pressured to violently type phrases like “Last time I checked, this was a secular nation,” “wake up and smell the science” or, my personal favorite, “keep your rosaries off my ovaries,” I enjoy it. Anytime any politician says “God” or, even worse, “Jesus Christ” in some variation, I cringe and b---- at the television (feeling rather pleased with myself, of course). Maybe seeking out these people and situations is my much-deserved tidbit of revenge?

http://www.dukechronicle.com/articles/2014/01/29/-word