I don’t want my wife to indoctrinate our two-year-old into religion [View all]

[cleanhippie]

It’s fine if my wife discusses religion when our daughter is old enough, but I’m against her smuggling it into the child’s life when she can have no understanding of its significance

My wife and I have just had a row about introducing our two-year-old to religion. I am an atheist, while my wife is a Christian, tending towards the evangelical. Religion has not been a source of tension until now. She would like me to believe, but has made no great effort to convert me.

I was content with the idea that, at some stage when our child was older, school-age at least, my wife would start discussing Christianity with her and encourage her to share her beliefs. At the same time, I planned to let her know about my atheism and tell her that other religions exist. I didn’t imagine it would descend into a tug of war. If my child decides to believe, when she is old enough to make an informed choice, that will be her choice to make and I would respect it.

But tonight my wife opened a package of books she had bought, all aimed at introducing Christianity to toddlers. I protested that we hadn’t even discussed broaching this subject with our child, and said I didn’t want her to be indoctrinated at an age when she is barely able to form sentences. I begged for patience, and said there could be no objection to my wife discussing this with her when she is old enough to deal with such a complex subject, but that it was grossly unfair to start smuggling it into her life when she can have no understanding of its significance.

My wife’s position is that to delay the discussion is, in effect, to indoctrinate our child into atheism. She seems minded to press ahead, despite my vehement disagreement. Is there any general view on the age at which a child can fairly be introduced to religion?

Not really. And the age at which you introduce a child to a religion is no indication of how strongly, or if, or for how long, they will believe in anything. I know religious people who introduce their children to religion because “not believing” is more widespread so they feel they need to get in early to preserve their beliefs. I do not think this approach works in the long term.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/19/dont-want-wife-indoctrinate-two-year-old-into-religion