Religion

DerekG

(2,935 posts)

194. No, I wouldn't

Fri Apr 24, 2015, 12:59 AM

Apr 2015

Strange as it may sound, I relate to the characters you'd find in a Dostoevsky or Graham Greene novel. I was hard-wired to be spiritual--part and parcel of my very personality--and it took a lot of others' pain and a radical evil (which I won't talk about) to destroy it. The emotional fallout is probably not something a rational nonbeliever can understand.

(To use a metaphor: Imagine being married to the love of your life--your sun and moon--and after ten years, you discover that your spouse was cheating on you through the whole course of the marriage. That's the level of anger and grief I'm talking about.)

I'm going to continue and extend my efforts to help others, but so far, nothing has managed to ameliorate the pain. I've seen decent and loving people destroyed, and honest-to-Christ psychopaths prosper, and it just makes me howl.

I'm glad other people find solace in nonbelief, but personally speaking, there's nothing liberating with the realization that I live in a world of chaos, where past victims were handed rotten luck and then rewarded with oblivion.

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Question for atheists. [View all] hrmjustin Apr 2015 OP

I can't answer for myself rogerashton Apr 2015 #1

My dad would likely say something similar. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #2

Me too! haikugal Apr 2015 #31

This message was self-deleted by its author TexasProgresive Apr 2015 #34

Sometime in 1st or 2nd grade. ret5hd Apr 2015 #3

Did you tell your parents? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #5

At about age 5 salimbag Apr 2015 #4

Did you tell your parents? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #7

Of course salimbag Apr 2015 #16

I can see how you would be a bad experience for a kid. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #24

Sorry, can't really remember a specific moment. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Apr 2015 #6

Thank you for answeing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #9

When I was "saved" as a kid. I actually did it twice but it didn't take. corkhead Apr 2015 #8

Twice? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #10

yes, I didn't feel any different after the first one so I did it again. corkhead Apr 2015 #12

Ok. thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #14

When I was saved I wanted to feel different, I wanted strange languages to come from me NoJusticeNoPeace Apr 2015 #177

Watching my mother die of cancer Fumesucker Apr 2015 #11

I am so sorry. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #13

Thank you... Fumesucker Apr 2015 #17

My parents sent me to Catholic School but don't believe in it. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #18

oops, Freudian slip johnnypneumatic Apr 2015 #99

I beg your pardon? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #101

hey no offense meant johnnypneumatic Apr 2015 #111

I never really experienced any of that. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #112

My heart breaks for you. cbayer Apr 2015 #15

The truly bad part is that my parents were immigrants, my brother and I had no other family in USA Fumesucker Apr 2015 #19

I honestly don't know what to say, fs. cbayer Apr 2015 #125

A slow process going from believer to agnostic to atheist edhopper Apr 2015 #20

Did you go to Ethical Culture here in NY? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #21

I was in California at the time. edhopper Apr 2015 #39

I went there a few times as a kid. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #41

Yes edhopper Apr 2015 #44

Agreed. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #45

I have always been an atheist. AtheistCrusader Apr 2015 #22

Were your parents atheists? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #23

No. My mother was protestant, and my father was catholic. AtheistCrusader Apr 2015 #25

My father is similar to your mother. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #27

Around 6-7 procon Apr 2015 #26

I never said that prayer. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #28

I was a precocious child. procon Apr 2015 #48

Seems like you marched to your own drummer as a child. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #49

We had to do that too, every night.. haikugal Apr 2015 #35

After the Catholic Church pedophile scandal in 2002 Kelvin Mace Apr 2015 #29

Yes that was horrific. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #30

Agnostic around 8 ... atheist around 10 Auggie Apr 2015 #32

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #33

I don't remember gwheezie Apr 2015 #36

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #37

3 years ago give or take. phil89 Apr 2015 #38

Ok. was there something specific that made you reject religion? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #40

I think once phil89 Apr 2015 #104

thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #106

Like AC I have always been one. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #42

My pleasure and thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #43

I didn't know the answer to that until I was an adult. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #46

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #47

kicking. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #50

It was a long journey for me. Goblinmonger Apr 2015 #51

Seems like there were many forces trying to prevent you to be honest with yourself and others. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #53

Sunday school kindergarten. longship Apr 2015 #52

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #54

BTW, R&K longship Apr 2015 #59

Thank you. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #60

I grew up in a German Catholic household, and went to Catholic school until 7th grade. Maedhros Apr 2015 #55

Did you tell your family and friends your view at the time? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #56

No - I couldn't, because my best friends were all part of it. Maedhros Apr 2015 #57

I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing this. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #58

When one is young and Catholic, it's more than just a belief system. Maedhros Apr 2015 #67

I am glad you found that peace. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #69

Thank you. Maedhros Apr 2015 #71

I left at 18 but I became Episcopalian. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #73

I dont ever remember being anything but. bunnies Apr 2015 #61

Were your parents atheists? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #62

My Mother went to a Baptist college... bunnies Apr 2015 #64

Did you tell her about your views? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #66

Yes. bunnies Apr 2015 #72

I am sorry to hear that. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #74

Thanks. bunnies Apr 2015 #80

I was struggling with it for a long time LostOne4Ever Apr 2015 #63

Powerful commercial. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #65

Thanks for the Great thread LostOne4Ever Apr 2015 #146

My pleasure! hrmjustin Apr 2015 #148

I never believed. Act_of_Reparation Apr 2015 #68

What made you stop? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #70

I graduated. Act_of_Reparation Apr 2015 #88

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #90

kick. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #75

There was no epiphany notadmblnd Apr 2015 #76

Was gradual? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #77

yes, a gradual realization notadmblnd Apr 2015 #82

Thanks. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #84

I deduced it in retrospect, in my mid-30's, but I don't know if the word "identify" applies. arcane1 Apr 2015 #78

Was there a definitive moment for you? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #79

If there was, I don't remember it. arcane1 Apr 2015 #93

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #98

Anytime! Mine certainly wasn't the most interesting story :) arcane1 Apr 2015 #107

But you are an interesting poster. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #108

Warm fuzzies! arcane1 Apr 2015 #110

thanks for the discussion. guillaumeb Apr 2015 #81

Not surprised really.i expected a good debate. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #83

Yep. Most of us will respond favourably to sincere questions. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #95

Who stopped? edhopper Apr 2015 #97

Are you? Warren Stupidity Apr 2015 #139

I finally had to admit it Faux pas Apr 2015 #85

What finally made you do it? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #87

Talking to a life long friend Faux pas Apr 2015 #96

Sometimes life brings you places you don't expect. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #100

Way too true Faux pas Apr 2015 #113

. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #114

Right back at ya Faux pas Apr 2015 #128

It's personal for me. I don't wear religion or anti-religion on my sleeve. But I have wondered if Lint Head Apr 2015 #86

Good question. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #89

I'm still not sure, nor do I care what category I fit into exactly. DrewFlorida Apr 2015 #91

I like your dislike of the myopia of religion. Arugula Latte Apr 2015 #170

Raised Catholic - pretty much left the church @ age 15 rurallib Apr 2015 #92

Thanks for sharing and I am glad you feel better. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #102

I can't recall a particular moment of realization. bvf Apr 2015 #94

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #103

i suppose you could say the moment i learned the word "atheist". unblock Apr 2015 #105

Were your parents atheists? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #109

don't think i've ever heard them use that term for themselves. unblock Apr 2015 #117

Thanks for sharing and well said. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #119

While I certainly didn't use the term, Chemisse Apr 2015 #115

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #118

I don't remember a time when it was otherwise.... mike_c Apr 2015 #116

Did it create problems for you with your family? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #121

yes mike_c Apr 2015 #124

I am sorry to hear that. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #127

For me it started in history class. Promethean Apr 2015 #120

Did DU help you in your formulations of your views? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #123

When I became an altar boy. SwissTony Apr 2015 #122

Unfortunately many clergy have driven people away. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #126

NDE when I was 17. Not a religious experience. djean111 Apr 2015 #129

NDE? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #130

Near Death Experience. djean111 Apr 2015 #132

Thanks. And this event helped formulate your opinion on religion? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #134

Absolutely. And this was in the early sixties, I had never heard of an NDE, and it was not djean111 Apr 2015 #135

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #136

The debunking comes edhopper Apr 2015 #138

If only NDE's were afforded the same acceptance as religion! djean111 Apr 2015 #154

Over a period from about 14 to 16 muriel_volestrangler Apr 2015 #131

Were you Anglican? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #133

Yes - my mother's family was quite Anglican muriel_volestrangler Apr 2015 #141

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #143

I left behind all pretense of belief during my Episcopal confirmation classes as well! PassingFair Apr 2015 #168

seminary... handmade34 Apr 2015 #137

Was it something specific that happened there? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #142

Raised without religion. Warren Stupidity Apr 2015 #140

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #144

I think I kind of always was one... Heddi Apr 2015 #145

Thank you for sharing Heddi. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #147

Thanks for asking Heddi Apr 2015 #149

"mainly b/c I lived in Seattle where it's not a sin to be gay or to not believe in God" AtheistCrusader Apr 2015 #165

Wasn't very old, aka-chmeee Apr 2015 #150

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #151

After reading Richard Dawkins' book customerserviceguy Apr 2015 #152

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #155

More of a gradual process Number9Dream Apr 2015 #153

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #156

Santa Claus undermined the credibility of my family on all such matters carolinayellowdog Apr 2015 #157

You know what's funny? I believed in Santa but never in a god. Arugula Latte Apr 2015 #171

Which is why I hate the idea of adults lying to kids about Santa. raccoon Apr 2015 #210

Always was one... gcomeau Apr 2015 #158

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #159

When nil desperandum Apr 2015 #160

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #162

You are welcome nil desperandum Apr 2015 #164

I was raised in a culturally Anglican house Rainforestgoddess Apr 2015 #161

My pleasure and thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #163

Late. LiberalAndProud Apr 2015 #166

Yes that was horrific and infuriating that he said that. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #167

What a great thread, justin. Kudos to you. cbayer Apr 2015 #169

Thank you. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #174

I think about age 10 Capt. Obvious Apr 2015 #172

Do you remember what was the reason? Was there an event in your life at the time? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #173

I think I can trace the origins to finding out that Santa wasn't real Capt. Obvious Apr 2015 #175

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #178

For me it was being surrounded by liberals who not only were atheists but surprised NoJusticeNoPeace Apr 2015 #176

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #179

It took a while. I had to stop believing in one god at a time... Binkie The Clown Apr 2015 #180

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #181

well before first communion Freethinker65 Apr 2015 #182

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #183

It seems I was a questioner from a very early age. 3catwoman3 Apr 2015 #184

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #185

Walking out of church, standing on the steps after Confirmation Trajan Apr 2015 #186

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #187

As hard as I tried to believe I believed OriginalGeek Apr 2015 #188

Has it been hard on you relationship with family? hrmjustin Apr 2015 #189

Oh it absolutely has OriginalGeek Apr 2015 #190

I am sorry being honest came with so many problems. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #191

Just last year, after a horrifying 5-year spanning loss of faith DerekG Apr 2015 #192

I am so sorry you had this experience this way. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #193

No, I wouldn't DerekG Apr 2015 #194

Thank you very much for sharing your story. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #197

Thank YOU DerekG Apr 2015 #199

. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #200

If I may offer some words of comfort.. Yorktown Apr 2015 #196

Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut iwillalwayswonderwhy Apr 2015 #206

Vonnegut is underrated Yorktown Apr 2015 #207

Between ages 8 and 12 Yorktown Apr 2015 #195

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #198

About 9 years old. I read where Christianity came from and why is was introduced. BlueJazz Apr 2015 #201

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #204

In the third grade. Laffy Kat Apr 2015 #202

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #203

None of it ever made sense to me iwillalwayswonderwhy Apr 2015 #205

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #208

I don't think I knew the term 'atheist' until about 9 or 10... LeftishBrit Apr 2015 #209

Thank you for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #211

There was no "moment." MineralMan Apr 2015 #212

Thanks for sharing. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #213