Five Steps to Rediscovering Spirituality as an LGBT Person [View all]

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Nick Literski
Posted: 10/23/2015 5:20 pm EDT
Updated: 1=/23/2015 5:59 pm EDT

Despite recent civil rights advances, religion remains challenging territory for LGBT Americans. In fact, a 2013 Pew Research poll indicated that 48% of LGBT adults are religiously unaffiliated, compared to 20% of the general population. Being religiously unaffiliated, however, doesn't mean not being spiritual. In my practice as a spiritual guide, many LGBT adults have told me how they want to reconnect with spirituality, but they're uncertain about how they can do so.

I understand that feeling, because I've been there. I spent 26 years as part of a demanding, fundamentalist, anti-LGBT religious community. When I finally had the courage to come out as gay at the age of 39, I resigned my membership in that church and began to rebuild my life. I had strong feelings about how my religious tradition had impacted me. I wasn't sure anymore what I thought about God. Was I an atheist? An agnostic? Something else? I tried to explore other religious traditions, but I couldn't connect with them. It took me about four years before I could begin to pay serious attention to my spirituality again.

As I've researched, interviewed, and worked directly with LGBT adults, I've learned that some concrete steps can help us recover from the negative aspects of our religious pasts and discover an affirming, sustaining spirituality.

1. Allow yourself to grieve. Whether you were expelled or left on your own, you experienced a loss when you separated from your formative religious tradition. You may have lost family, friends, and a community where you once felt belonging. You may have lost a faith that you had invested years of your life following. Even though a part of you is probably relieved, you may experience feelings of grief and loss. Give yourself permission to experience those feelings, and eventually they will give way to healing.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nick-literski/five-steps-to-rediscoveri_b_8373220.html