Proper religious funerals are dying out. I mourn for them

[rug]

4. It's not the opposite but it is different.

Death is always, unmistakably, a loss. That's true whether one is a believer or a nonbeliever.

The difference is that most religions propose that, while a loss, that loss does not mean oblivion but that there is a hope beyond the loss. The needle to thread is how a person's death can be acknowledged while at the same time acknowledging his or her death.

For example, before Vatican 2, the priests wore black vestments, symbolizing the loss. Since Vatican 2, the priests wear white, symbolizing the hope of returning to God.

For nonbelievers, I imagine the balance is between marking the reality of death while embracing the life that was lived.

Psychologically and subjectively, the comfort of believing in the great circle of life versus going to heaven, is pretty much the same.