We have double standards for in- and out-groups.
Get insulted by a family member, it's different from being insulted by a stranger. Esp. if the stranger's in a group you dislike--different race, ethnicity, or political party.
The number of unarmed blacks killed last year was huge. The number killed by police, small. The number of protests in city against police, huge. The number against a specific gang or gangs or youth violence, small.
More Muslim Arabs are killed by Muslims than by Israeli Jews. Yet when an Arab kills an Arab, when a Muslim kills a Muslim, the family mourns and that's mostly it. When a Jew kills an Arabs, the funeral procession includes hundreds of angry men, furious at the Yahud.
You're asking that the common American stop being human, while groups that you and I belong to, while groups that we tend to empathize or sympathize with, get cut a break and allowed to be normal. In other words, it's the same story: We're good, they're bad, the worst of us is better than the best of them. Yet we expect them to live up to higher standards than we do even as we say we live up to higher standards than them because we make excuses for our own and impute the worst motives possible to them.
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