Faith is the excuse we give ourselves to believe things without good reason

[Starboard Tack]

133. Thanks for sharing.

First, let me say that I never said that you chose to lose your faith. I said belief, itself, is a choice. If you are saying that you had faith and then lost it, I can only assume that you lost it due to a preponderance of evidence, which took you on a journey from faith through doubt to incredulity; a well worn path through a dark tunnel that many have traveled. I still see it as a choice, based on your personal experience of enlightenment and growth.
And your decision to announce your loss of faith to your mother is interesting. Did you really not know what her reaction would be? I loved my mother too, but I would taunt her, at times, over issues we disagreed on. Fortunately, religion was not one of them. I rarely heard her mention religion after I turned seven. There was a time when she worried because I was attending church too often, during my early to mid teens. I reassured her by explaining I went to expand my social circle. Neither of my parents ever attended church, except for weddings and funerals. We said Grace once a year on Xmas day (I have no idea why). We never discussed religion at home, though my mother did warn me one time about dating a catholic girl. "They make you change, son". "Change what?" I asked. "Convert!" she replied. I laughed and said I had nothing to convert from as I'd lost interest in the whole religion thing. I was way too busy driving my car and chasing girls. She was relieved. My brother and I are the only members of my family, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, that ever attended church. We did it out of personal choice and curiosity, neither encouraged, nor discouraged by other family members. Didn't last long. I decided it wasn't for me and didn't really care if god existed or not. Why should I? I couldn't do anything about it either way. If he did exist, I felt no requirement or desire to love or worship him, as I saw nothing deserving of love or devotion. I think I had always believed that the only place god could exist is in one's mind. And my mind is where all my choices come from.