I don't worry about it. I'm alive right now. So, I'm doing what makes me feel best, which involves learning stuff. It appears to me, from everything I've seen, that this life is the one I get. That's enough, really. In any case, I have no choice in the matter. I'm hear by chance, anyhow, a combination of the genes of my parents at a random time.
I died once. My heart stopped, because my brain was swollen from viral encephalitis. I coded. A few days later, I awoke in a hospital bed in Palm Springs. My wife at the time, my current wife and my mother were standing at the foot of the bed. I decided that was more than I could deal with, so I went back to sleep for a few more hours.
When I woke up again, I assessed my situation. I knew who I was. I knew who they were, so I recovered fully over the next month. I was in a coma for about a week. The ambulance workers said that I coded three times on the way to the hospital. I died. I remember none of that.
More evidence that death is final, as far as I'm concerned. I'm alive now. That's enough. I continue to learn things, which is my particular joy of life. I'll die before too many years pass, I have no doubt. Then, who I am stops, so there's nothing for me to fear, really. It stopped before. Fortunately, not permanently. But, had it stopped permanently, I think I would no longer be, which is OK, really.
But, here I am, now. It is enough.
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