lives around narrow, doctrinaire, literalist fundamentalist believers. At least, I do, and for extra bonus fun, my family falls in that category as well.
It may not be correct to assume that a plurality of believers on DU would also share this belief structure, but it does take a conscious step back to remember this, which can be difficult when those on an individual spiritual journey sometimes take personal offense at non-believers' protest of fundamentalist nonsense. Tensions are also running high right now, with the holidays coming up and many are warily anticipating family gatherings with fundies. DU3 also seems to be permitting more incivility that did its predecessor, and that is incredibly disheartening (that so many recced the "Hitch was worse than KJI" thread in GD is just ridiculous). These aren't excuses, just explanations, and yes, we should do better.
Additionally, I think both sides can get caught up in terminology, one insisting that a definition does not apply to them, and the other insisting that it does (aside from "cherry-picking", I'm remembering the dictionary wars wherein many insisted that "atheist" means "believes no gods can possibly exist".) We would all do better to get past the words themselves, to learn what we actually believe and practice. (Then to continue with honest disagreement/criticism from there if it is warranted. 
)
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