Christianity and the pressure to believe [View all]

[cleanhippie]

My ten-year old son, Joey, announced to me a while back that he is atheist. When he said that, it made me a little uncomfortable. For some reason, it feels a little different to me to hear a kid say “I’m atheist” rather than just “I don’t believe in god.” I’m not exactly sure why; maybe it’s the applying a label to oneself. I really don’t believe that kids this young are old enough, mature enough, or worldly enough to apply any sort of label like that to themselves – mainly because I’m not convinced they really understand what it means.

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So when Joey recently confessed that talking about god makes him uncomfortable, I was curious. I asked him in what context – at home? At school? He said at school. Often his friends talk about god and church and it makes him uncomfortable. He feels like the odd man out, and suddenly he’s not sure what he believes. I’m glad he’s questioning things, I really am. But it’s made me realize that it’s possible that he (or any of my kids) might eventually adopt Christianity out of a sense of peer pressure – in order to fit in. Because we live in the Bible Belt of Southern California – it’s a very conservative, predominantly Christian, right wing community. At their tender young ages, a couple of my kids have already been told by their friends that it’s a sin to not believe in god, and that they will go to hell. That pisses me off.

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I think religion and matters of faith should be matters for adults to contemplate. Most adults wouldn’t think about inculcating their children with particular political party agendas, because we, for the most part, accept that political beliefs are beyond children’s understanding, and it would be ridiculous to pressure a child to identify him or herself as Republican or Democrat. And yet, it’s a completely different story with religion. I’ve never understood how Christian adults rejoice when a child “chooses” god, or “accepts” Jesus Christ. Those children have been spoon-fed those beliefs from the time they were babies; there was never any choice in the matter.

It’s a confusing time for Joey. He’s on the cusp of adolescence, so maybe his beginning to question a lot of things is to be expected. When we had this conversation with him recently, I told him that the things his friends say about god are only things their parents and their churches have told them to believe, and that doesn’t make them true. We told him that he doesn’t have to decide anything right now about god or anything else. We told him that he has his whole life to think about it, and he may never decide, and that’s okay.

http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/parents/?p=628

I urge the reader to follow the link and read the entire post for better context and understanding.

One part that stands out to me is this...

I’ve never understood how Christian adults rejoice when a child “chooses” god, or “accepts” Jesus Christ. Those children have been spoon-fed those beliefs from the time they were babies; there was never any choice in the matter.
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I told him that the things his friends say about god are only things their parents and their churches have told them to believe, and that doesn’t make them true.

...and drives home a point I frequently try to make; that children who are indoctrinated into religion and told to believe or they will be punished in some way, is child abuse.