You have to be pretty much of an idiot to think you have no reason to respect the fact that someone is telling you you're offending them. If you respect people, you refrain from offending then under normal circumstances. Are there circumstances when it's ok to offend? Sure. But that is the only time you should deliberately offend people. And the reason to give offense has to supercede the reasons we have to respect other people's feelings.
Back in the early 60s, around the time that the civil rights movement was beginning to gain media attention, a friend of mine went for a visit down south with his family - from NYC. His father was getting his hair cut in a barbershop and he was talking and talking about negroes - negroes was the polite term for black people in those days. The barber and the other customers had a fit. "They're niggers. Godammit, call them niggers." Negro was a term that showed some respect. It didn't give offense to the people you were talking about. The barber demanded that you be offensive; his culture demanded it.
Sure, "nigger" is offensive to some people. So fucking what? That's just a whine? Bullshit! That's a whole fucking way of life. By being deliberately offensive to people, deliberately offensive to their face, you're daring them to react. Oppressed people have to accept the offense.
Fry is telling the story about his great-grandfather's grave being desecrated in Slovakia. Does he imagine the people that desecrated the grave referred to his great-grandfather's people as Jewish people. Or as fucking jews? Kikes? If the desecrators grew up in a village where Fry's great-grandfather was referred to as a Jewish person, they'd be a lot less likely to desecrate his grave. Deliberately giving offense and disrespecting people is just another way of dehumanizing people.
So fucking what? Really?
= new reply since forum marked as read