The Curse of Ham. And Cheese.

[onager]

5. Easy! They were kept in 400,000 clear glass jars.

At least the scorpions were in glass jars, when Mrs. Noah was threatening to toss them overboard.

Certainly no expert here, but I don't believe the art of making perfectly identical glass jars was that advanced in Old Testament times. Maybe the Noah family wandered over into Egypt and borrowed some space-alien technology.

Oh, and I forgot to mention a fantastic visual metaphor used in this movie. One of Noah's daughters-in-law picks up a cute koala bear. It promptly takes a crap in her lap.

Yep, that pretty much sums up the whole thing.

I could almost feel sorry for those Big Name Actors, but I'm assuming nobody twisted their arms to sign on the dotted line.

Especially Jon Voight, if he hadn't turned into such a bloviating right-wing knucklehead. From "Midnight Cowboy," "Deliverance" and "Heat" - to "Anaconda" and this steaming much-bigger-than-a-koala's load. Jebus! That's a career arc to rival the airship Hindenburg.