"Sinister Ministers" Debut

[onager]

5. Gotta get that thru Mom's head...

Though since she's 80+ years old, probably too late...

Last week I called her and got the following story:

She was up late one night "watching the ID Channel." Heard a noise in the back yard. Looked out the window and saw a guy rummaging thru her tool shed. He came out carrying one of her small lawn mowers, and a gas can.

She called 911, but since she lives WAY out in the country, that means the call goes to a Deputy Sheriff. They can take a while to respond.

So Mom loaded up her pistol, opened the front door and fired. Not at the guy, at the ground. He dropped her stuff and hauled ass.

When the Deputy showed up, she told him what she'd done. The Deputy advised her not to do that again. But added that if she actually shot the guy, he would help her drag the body in the house so she'd have a better case.

This story is partly funny to me. And partly not.

Everybody has a pretty good idea who the thief is. A local troublemaker/meth head who's well known in the area for his thefts, in and out of jail constantly, etc. His main victim used to be his uncle, a deaf-mute. He would go into his uncle's house at night and steal money/credit cards right out of his pants pocket. The uncle communicated to other people that he was terrified of waking up one night and catching this asshole. He was pretty sure the kid would kill him.

This jerk comes from a "good family," as they say in the South. Raised going to church and all that. My Mom even babysat him when he was younger. He's just always been a sneak thief and generally worthless human being, but nobody can figure out why.