Two of those Mormon clean-cut guys just showed up at my door.

[NeoGreen]

11. It was mid-November...

...deer hunting season, I was in my mid to late thirties, with a scruffy salt and pepper beard, all dressed out to spend about 8-hours in the woods, with my wool red/black jacket (over sized to accommodate the hoodie and wool shirt plus warm accoutrements underneath) and big warm orange-blaze hat all of which made my typical 5'-10" and 185 lbs look like a lean 6+feet and 225+lbs (I had some really nice hiking boots with a thick soles) as I casually strode out of my front door carrying my 12-guage shotgun with scope when I heard a gasp and almost stepped on this unbeknownst to me, maybe 100-lb dripping wet, waif (who looked to me younger than 12 but was likely anywhere from 16 to 19) standing on my front stoop with a bible in her hand.

Her mentors/parents were in my driveway huddled by the car maybe 30-feet away.

Now, I had had a cold the previous couple of days so my voice was in a gravelly octave that could have given James Earl Jones a run for his money.

Before the waif could stuff her lungs back into her thorax and collect her breath to begin her spiel,
I held up my hand and grumbled out.. Not...Today...Please

Not a peep...not a sound... she floated back to the car like tinkerbell dodging a cannon ball and everyone there piled in quicker than you could say bambi.

And I have never, ever, had anyone knock on my door since.

It has been ~12 years.