Atheists & Agnostics

OriginalGeek

(12,132 posts)

14. I've mentioned this before

Mon Mar 2, 2015, 01:53 PM

Mar 2015

but my favorite thing to laugh about my Independent, Fundamentalist, Bible-Believing Baptist upbringing is that we were always taught that every single word of the King James Version of the bible was the inspired, literal word of god. Jonah lived in a whale. Moses parted the Red Sea. Jesus cast demons out of people. Died and rose again. Every. Single. Word. is 100%, non-contradictory truth.

Except "Wine". They meant grape juice and those heathen Catholics are going to hell for having alcohol in their churches. Good Baptists don't drink alcohol so the interpreters who got every single other word 100% correct must have meant grape juice.

Our communions sucked.

Oh, and this is why you never take less than two Baptists fishing with you. because if you take only one, he will drink all your beer.

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Highlight:

Tell me what's funny [View all] Brainstormy Mar 2015 OP

Personally Laughing so we don't cry is a key montra Lordquinton Mar 2015 #1

There's a question I have asked a lot of Christians over the years and never got the right answer Fumesucker Mar 2015 #2

Well, don't keep us in suspense. Ron Obvious Mar 2015 #4

I am going to guess hypocrisy (nt) LostOne4Ever Mar 2015 #6

Jesus didn't rant very often Fumesucker Mar 2015 #9

Well, he ranted big-time at that fig tree... onager Mar 2015 #16

Jesus LostOne4Ever Mar 2015 #3

HA! Excellent. progressoid Mar 2015 #8

Hilarious! n/t Brainstormy Mar 2015 #12

LOL Delmette Mar 2015 #22

Pretending it's not just your imaginary friend, is pretty funny to me. AtheistCrusader Mar 2015 #5

... progressoid Mar 2015 #7

Well. the Mormon magical underpants has to get an honorable mention. PeaceNikki Mar 2015 #10

what I find "funny" RussBLib Mar 2015 #11

Lent Fix The Stupid Mar 2015 #13

I've mentioned this before OriginalGeek Mar 2015 #14

As a former Jew edhopper Mar 2015 #15

This message was self-deleted by its author Pacifist Patriot Mar 2015 #18

The focus on details of ritual in any religion can be funny muriel_volestrangler Mar 2015 #20

"Apparently, God wants you to dress like you live in Prague in 1835." Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #27

With floor buffer brushes edhopper Mar 2015 #29

*snicker* Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #31

I always think it says, "I am a dick." nt mr blur Mar 2015 #35

Succint. Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #36

Makes me think that some smart milliner, one Spring, said, mr blur Mar 2015 #37

They better not visit the Kafka Museum in Prague... onager Mar 2015 #30

Heh heh. Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #32

And Prague's great monument to dissent... onager Mar 2015 #34

I like that edhopper Mar 2015 #33

This is timely and pretty damn funny... onager Mar 2015 #17

This message was self-deleted by its author Pacifist Patriot Mar 2015 #19

Ironic....and funny AlbertCat Mar 2015 #21

When they criticize the "fictional truth about Jesus Christ," LiberalAndProud Mar 2015 #23

The thought that the guy who made up some of the rules in The Wholly Babble, mr blur Mar 2015 #24

A religionist right here claimed this was proof that religion overturns scientific knowledge. Warren Stupidity Mar 2015 #25

So many things, but particularly the picking & choosing & disconnect. Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #26

Another thing is the utter myopia, egocentrism and the complete lack of perspective. Arugula Latte Mar 2015 #28

A couple favorites of mine: Moostache Mar 2015 #38

Your first image is exactly what I was going to post. deucemagnet Mar 2015 #39