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Atheists & Agnostics

OriginalGeek

(12,132 posts) Wed Feb 22, 2012, 01:27 PM Feb 2012

Funny things I learned in church [View all]

The peace sign is Satanic. It is an upside down and broken cross and represents those dirty hippies who want to deny god by tricking us with "peace" and "love". That was an actual sunday school lesson.

I also learned that Barry Manilow is Satanic. But I might be inclined to believe that.

What funny things did your church try to teach you?

47 replies

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Highlight:

Funny things I learned in church [View all] OriginalGeek Feb 2012 OP

not really the Church teaching me, but ... zbdent Feb 2012 #1

lol, I think that's a fair life lesson OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #2

LOL RKP5637 Feb 2012 #30

Christian against Christian battles at my church.... Curmudgeoness Feb 2012 #3

Oh for sure we learned all that OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #7

Kinda gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, Curmudgeoness Feb 2012 #22

Well, I wasn't evil, so to speak ... but Santorum seems to be ... zbdent Feb 2012 #13

LOL, No, on Fridays, it is Curmudgeoness Feb 2012 #21

That Judas's full name was frogmarch Feb 2012 #4

There once was a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. onager Feb 2012 #5

David was a biker OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #8

I used to know a bunch more of these OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #29

My church taught me that burning to death was too good for me FiveGoodMen Feb 2012 #6

We had to watch a movie called "The Burning Hell" OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #9

How awful. I'd say that showing kids frogmarch Feb 2012 #10

I was maybe 13 or 14 when we saw it OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #11

Sorry you had to endure that! frogmarch Feb 2012 #12

Thank you OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #14

He sounds like a real piece of work, frogmarch Feb 2012 #15

In the last 15 years OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #16

Ohhh, sorry your mom frogmarch Feb 2012 #20

What the peace sign means. Neoma Feb 2012 #17

lol that makes sense OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #18

Garfunkle's solo albums I could understand, just on principle... Neoma Feb 2012 #19

My church preached against tobacco use OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #28

I thought it was supposed to be the dove's footprint? Taverner Feb 2012 #46

Oh, good grief, so many. iris27 Feb 2012 #23

I graduated in 81 from a christian high school OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #24

Yeah, I don't know of many other "escapees" from my school, either. iris27 Feb 2012 #26

Ooh yeah, my brothers don't engage in open hostility OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #27

The penis statues they frogmarch Feb 2012 #25

Not in church, but from a religious type - when you die, you get to take all of RKP5637 Feb 2012 #31

lol! Heaven Cents! OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #32

How about, "In God we Trust, Inc." Deposit your "Heaven Cents" now. Limited time RKP5637 Feb 2012 #33

We're gonna be RICH! OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #36

50/50 sounds good to me! We can sell stock too, get the relatives to buy our bank stocks!!! RKP5637 Feb 2012 #37

A dead guy on a stick is going to save us. HopeHoops Feb 2012 #34

My wife punches me in the arm OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #35

As someone once said someplace, "if" "if" "If" Jesus ever returned, about the last thing RKP5637 Feb 2012 #38

"HE hates these CANS! MORE CANS!" HopeHoops Feb 2012 #40

Well, just pray harder, that's sure worked well for the end of wars, health problems and RKP5637 Feb 2012 #39

That I am going to hell because I am incapable of blind faith. Odin2005 Feb 2012 #41

That mental illness doesn't really exist MountainLaurel Feb 2012 #42

"Birds of a feather should flock together" OriginalGeek Feb 2012 #43

I never went to church formally, but I'd accompany my friends. pink-o Feb 2012 #44

LOL I remember that: "the broken cross" Taverner Feb 2012 #45

kick laconicsax Mar 2012 #47