I haven't posted much more detail about this since

[No Vested Interest]

9. It does seem like you and all your family have been given a very heavy

load all at one time.
Each is suffering in his/her own way as each is affected not only by Tom's death, but all the attendant circumstances and aftermath.

You are level-headed in your response, though obviously upset, especially for your widowed daughter, who is being undercut and threatened.
At this time, when it seems you are being shelled from all sides, priorities need be set on what can be dealt with and what is beyond your control; then, of that within your control, which is most important, and which can wait its turn.

Your son's wife will be his prime support; unexpected death is especially hard on the young, as they haven't yet given a lot of thought to mortality. It may be very difficult for him, but he will come through this sadness.

May you get through this difficult week, Muriel, one day, one hour, at a time.
You'll be in the thoughts of those who offer support for bereavement and beyond.