My partner of 17 years passed away two weeks ago tomorrow

[HillWilliam]

7. This past Saturday I laid my beloved's ashes to rest

at the family farm in West Virginia. There were only 8 of us there.

Where I come from in Appalachia, one of the greatest honors to give someone is to prepare their final resting place. Rob's family honored him and me both by letting me be the one to dig the site. In the hole, I placed his ashes and covered them with a group of irises he loved. We hugged each other and said farewells.

The only thing I could think of to say is something that occurred to me when I received his ashes from the funeral home in early March: Ten pounds of stardust and a million tears, that's all we can leave behind. It's the quality and nature of those tears that describe the life we'd led.

I have no regrets for loving with all the strength I could find though the wound left by its departure is still raw. I had hoped just a little bit that by honoring my beloved with the best I was raised to give there might be a bit of healing. So far, the grief hurts worse than ever.

When you swap souls with someone, there are no takebacks even if you tried. Even knowing this, love those in your life as fully and strongly as you can. As for me, I'm glad I did. I was loved completely and unconditionally in return. The kind of love Rob and I shared is what I wish for you.

Peace,
HW