Am I really not finding help

[orleans]

6. i'm so sorry for what you're going through

the only suggestions i can think of to add is maybe your town offers some sort of special mental health/bereavement services or they would be able to point you in the right direction.

also--years ago, when my dad passed away his church offered bereavement counseling for the families. my mom & i were not members of the church but i decided to try it anyway. there was no fee and i thought i really needed help. and it did help. it was a group session for a couple months once or twice a week (if i remember correctly). my mom didn't want anything to do with it or the church. she didn't go.

i really hope you are able to find what you need that will help you through this. when my mom passed away i desperately needed some help but due to a number of personal circumstances i have not gone for any counseling--and it's been a horribly rough five years. (pretty unimaginable, actually.)