I find myself really wanting a wedding

[Bernardo de La Paz]

6. Focus on your health, integrity, kindness, and engagement with society. Be a good friend to yourself

I too was a "late bloomer". Be your own best friend.

Sounds like you should make moving to a more comfortable part of the country a priority goal. It might be the best life change you could make to move to your ultimate goal. Alternatively, if you find a woman who wants to escape, you could escape together!

If you focus on those four things in this title, you will attract people and women for partners. In general, women (being people) like kindness and care. If you are kind and care for all people and animals, you'll be attractive from the inside out, and that is how a good long term relationship is founded.

Maintain a lightly upbeat persona with people, and yourself. It is good for one's own health, but also very attractive. Smooth, but not glib. Deep but not an abyss. More likely to chuckle at one's own flubs than curse.

Don't push or "convey" marriage goals onto a date. Enjoy the person and the event without setting goals. But certainly be frank and open about your goal if the topic comes up, or if writing bios on dating sites. Don't hide your goal, especially the more you like the person after a date or two, but "conveying" it too upfront will make you look a little desperate.

Be confident by telling yourself 1) you will find someone, 2) if you don't that is okay too, 3) by being easy and confident with being single you will be attractive. #2 is key to confidence. Glide through life projecting ease and confidence and you will become easier and more confident. I know people who got hitched at age 50 and live in bliss. It doesn't matter when or if. What matters is you need to accept whatever happens and be pleased with it. If you can have a relaxed zen attitude about setbacks and blockages, you'll be attractive.

Engagement with society is important. Get on out there, doing social activities that are meaningful to you, be it volunteering or helping, sports, culture, politics, whatever. Get into social situations, but don't be a hunter, be the healthy, integral, kind, engaged person you are. Most importantly, don't waste time with people you don't like or don't like their politics or don't like their behaviour. Move on to something else.

An intelligent friend who had "good luck" with women told me two ideas. He remarked that the actor Laurence Olivier held popular parties and somebody was at one for a while and realized that every joke Olivier told had himself as the butt, but not a gloomy gus kind, of course, upbeat. Second, he said that when he went to gatherings himself where he knew few if any people, he didn't make himself the center of attention nor did he become a wallflower. He parked himself somewhat centrally and comfortably and smiled at anyone who looked at him. Eventually somebody will get curious and come over and engage in chat.


A partner for life is a good person to be around and with on a date. Start with being that good person (you are already a long way there, not much more needed, just polish).