I use to believe/think that men could be feminists

[gollygee]

191. No, I don't think anyone minds men giving an opinion

it's more about whether men should dictate - like whether they should expect they have authority and that women should agree with their opinion or follow their advice. Gathering various opinions from various sources is valuable, so the opinions of men are valuable as a part of that, but as leaders men would be able to turn those opinions into policy, and I really think women should dictate policy of a movement all about women.

I suppose there are potential ways having men as leaders could benefit the feminist movement, but I'm more worried about it turning into a different kind of movement. I personally think it's more important that we control it and decide what's important. It's hard to explain why I feel that way but it comes from having conversations where you're told by men that you aren't a "real feminist" for one reason or another, as though they're the deciders as to what a real feminist is, or being told that the problem with feminism is that it's too focused on issue A and it should be more concerned about issue B, that is a "real feminist issue." I've just heard/read too much of that to feel comfortable with the movement being led by men, even if other movements have benefited from having leaders from outside their group. I don't want men deciding who a "real feminist" is or what a "real feminist issue" is and isn't and changing the movement to suit those beliefs. I hope the feminist movement continues to have as many allies as it has, but I would hope most supportive men would understand why our experience makes us feel this way about it.

Now I do want to add that women disagree about this, and I imagine feminists disagree about it as well, so I'm just giving my opinion on the issue.