History of Feminism

get the red out

(14,032 posts)

28. I never had the desire for children

Tue Feb 5, 2013, 12:30 PM

Feb 2013

I do not even understand what that desire would feel like. Other folks really don't get my desire not to either, but my desire is the less popular one.

Even my own sister feels I've been deprived a "natural desire" by our Mother who suffers from mental illness since my Mom always told me she never wanted me to have kids or marry over and over (didn't tell my sister that, for some reason). I have no way of knowing how I got this intense horror of having kids, but it has always been entrenched in me so much that it simply is a part of me.

Neither my sister nor I wanted to potentially pass along agonizing mental illness that is in our family as strongly as brown hair; she opted to adopt and I simply feared motherhood like a plague. To be honest, I always feared it worse than death. Maybe that's sick, but it's me and I'll not apologize to an overpopulating world for it.

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Highlight:

Helen Mirren confronts the final female taboo [View all] ismnotwasm Feb 2013 OP

Amen Helen JustAnotherGen Feb 2013 #1

I'm a childless man and sometimes I get the same treatment. xtraxritical Feb 2013 #36

And some of us were born with genetic conditions (in my case EDS) we didn't want to pass on, and LiberalLoner Feb 2013 #2

i love i had the opportunity to be a mother. and i was perfectly happy when i was not a mom. seabeyond Feb 2013 #3

And some of us don't have enough money RockaFowler Feb 2013 #4

and this... seabeyond Feb 2013 #10

I really admire your sense of responsibility. I see people around me who never took that into lunamagica Feb 2013 #46

Reverse the Question 4Q2u2 Feb 2013 #5

i am blunt and straight forward and not shy. i ask.... i like to learn. BUT... this is one of seabeyond Feb 2013 #11

Good point ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #30

I had Irish twins too, but didn't know they were called that for years. Auntie Bush Feb 2013 #61

My last two girls were Irish twins (11 months apart).... Little Star Feb 2013 #62

my mom, 3 in 3 yrs. all in october. lol. dont know how you women made it thru, sane. nt seabeyond Feb 2013 #63

It wasn't easy but I'd love to have those days back again. Lot of work but lot of pleasure too. Little Star Feb 2013 #66

Ditto seabeyond JustAnotherGen Feb 2013 #45

I knew I didn't want children from a young age and was repeatedly told my "bio clock" would kick in beac Feb 2013 #6

Never wanted children. Never had children. MadrasT Feb 2013 #7

i was 33 before having the first. didnt marry until 32. i never had anyone say anything let alone seabeyond Feb 2013 #13

Heh ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #26

lol, i guess that is another way to do it. nt seabeyond Feb 2013 #27

Not a good way ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #31

never look behind.... seabeyond Feb 2013 #34

I never wanted kids. CrispyQ Feb 2013 #8

"Don't you worry you'll regret it someday?" seabeyond Feb 2013 #14

That's my Mom get the red out Feb 2013 #51

instead of a simple... thank you. seabeyond Feb 2013 #57

Some people just don't want kids... bobclark86 Feb 2013 #9

I can't believe we stil have to deal with this shit. AtheistCrusader Feb 2013 #12

I feel for you. mostlyalurker Feb 2013 #70

My best advice to my daughter Sophiegirl Feb 2013 #15

that is a really good story. seabeyond Feb 2013 #17

Thanks Sophiegirl Feb 2013 #18

geez, i know that. my brother raised his daughter. he approached with abstinence. seabeyond Feb 2013 #19

All Mothers should be like you get the red out Feb 2013 #52

I kinda call it.... Sophiegirl Feb 2013 #59

'None of your damn beeswax' FailureToCommunicate Feb 2013 #16

Didn't know Helen had no kids.... dawnie51 Feb 2013 #20

This reminds me of when I was taking care of other kids, along with my own, logosoco Feb 2013 #21

When you see a thread title with "Helen Mirren" and "taboo", I had very different expectations Yavin4 Feb 2013 #22

I know some people who think they are better people simply because they have had children. CrispyQ Feb 2013 #56

Clients of mine have whispered this question about me to kestrel91316 Feb 2013 #23

I get that, too. dgibby Feb 2013 #43

I was a crap mother ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #24

very good post seabeyond Feb 2013 #29

You are the first person with kids that I've ever heard say that. CrispyQ Feb 2013 #76

I think it's part of furthering the conversation ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #77

(IMHO.) Marriage and children are overrated. Gin Feb 2013 #25

I never had the desire for children get the red out Feb 2013 #28

I understand you so well. rivegauche Feb 2013 #33

You are not alone. The thought horrifies me too. MadrasT Feb 2013 #38

So true for me too! rivegauche Feb 2013 #50

Welcome to my life. rivegauche Feb 2013 #32

Oh fuck you seabeyond Feb 2013 #35

LOL ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #39

I used to get that "such a shame" thing get the red out Feb 2013 #47

I've had the SAME crap said to me! rivegauche Feb 2013 #49

EXACTLY! get the red out Feb 2013 #55

Loners together stopwastingmymoney Feb 2013 #71

"loners together." CrispyQ Feb 2013 #78

"loners together." seabeyond Feb 2013 #79

Having an affair with me? Doctor_J Feb 2013 #37

Cute ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #40

Well, MY bucket list would be one item shorter Doctor_J Feb 2013 #42

Oh it's not an insult ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #44

Not this or that get the red out Feb 2013 #48

My first child was a surprise connecticut yankee Feb 2013 #41

I'm sorry about your son Politicub Feb 2013 #53

Yea! bitchkitty Feb 2013 #54

now... seabeyond Feb 2013 #58

And you're probably a great mom! bitchkitty Feb 2013 #60

i have a lot of seabeyond Feb 2013 #64

Still bitchkitty Feb 2013 #74

as i have probably said in this thread, seabeyond Feb 2013 #75

I'm afraid I must admit to having been one of them.... Flying Squirrel Feb 2013 #65

20% of American women never have children. MadrasT Feb 2013 #67

7 billion people in this world and counting... ensemble Feb 2013 #68

i never wanted children noiretextatique Feb 2013 #69

Wonderful! Let's start this discussion. I am ready. glinda Feb 2013 #72

I was her. Never had that instinct. Never gave in to the expectant taunts. ProfessionalLeftist Feb 2013 #73