Thoughts on “Sextremism”

[Bluenorthwest]

71. As long as it remains just that, a respectful statement of one's own views and choices

When it shifts into preaching about what the other should or must do it shimmers toward the world of status and control and the exploitation of others for one's own needs. Any suggestion that a person must suppress his or her own will and carry out the will of another person or group of people is an attempt to exploit that person. Perhaps a righteously motivated attempt. It is great to perhaps make a case to an artist and attempt to persuade them to change their modes by choice, but not to shame or bully or tell the artist that they are not their own person.
The discussion about 'how our community should present itself' goes on in many communities. By looking at those communities in which the particulars of this discussion do not apply I thought it might be possible to address the principles such discussions do have in common. Various communities have the 'should our people be dressing like that, talking like that' discussion. The LGBT community certainly has. I can think of several other communities that have and do go over the same thing. 'It shows us in a bad light when they do that stuff'. Does not really matter what stuff, or who the 'they' is. The question is is it right to expect others to behave as the group might wish in matters of self expression? Nudity, slang, droopy pants, chaps, smoking pot, someone is always telling somebody that if they do it, they are not being good representations of the community. I am just asking if it is really fair to ask others to represent something other than themselves. I sort of think that the very notion that what the other does is in any way my business is the foundation of all status and control injustices in the world. Why I might claim it is my business is perhaps not really important at all. If it is their body, it is theirs to use at they wish.
I just think great care and caution should accompany any version of 'don't do what you want, do what I want'. From anyone, to anyone, about anything. Because it is really a hell of a thing to ask of a person.