History of Feminism

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

14. i do not think that she was calling your expression a delusion, but that a mate would see

Sat Aug 31, 2013, 11:24 AM

Aug 2013

a romantic partner as a competitor.

i was raised ina very competitive family. i was in competitive sport for almost two decades. but, i think the reality is, money, status being more important, or definition of success is the delusion she is referring to.

though, people often live that life. and ruin their life living it.

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Study: Men secretly feel terrible when the women they love succeed [View all] redqueen Aug 2013 OP

Pobrecitos. kestrel91316 Aug 2013 #1

Lots of outrage and panic in the comments section. Squinch Aug 2013 #2

this society is really doing a poor job of rearing its young, to be this messed up. niyad Aug 2013 #3

yes. nt seabeyond Aug 2013 #6

Jackson Katz talks about this problem. redqueen Aug 2013 #7

Very true. YoungDemCA Sep 2013 #47

that goes along the line of needing to continually stroke the mans ego seabeyond Aug 2013 #4

I think it is more Aerows Aug 2013 #10

very good aarows. another area i was thinking about. seabeyond Aug 2013 #12

Just my opinion :) Aerows Aug 2013 #13

yes... it has. and so much more, lol. and seabeyond Aug 2013 #15

I was just reading that ismnotwasm Aug 2013 #5

Just so you know, I realize it is FAR from surprising. redqueen Aug 2013 #26

People raised to be competitive Aerows Aug 2013 #8

"even when they aren’t in direct competition" redqueen Aug 2013 #9

Not really Aerows Aug 2013 #11

i do not think that she was calling your expression a delusion, but that a mate would see seabeyond Aug 2013 #14

I am pretty sure exactly what she said and her intended meaning were Aerows Aug 2013 #17

"with claws drawn"... yeah, nothing sexist or misogynist about that at all. redqueen Aug 2013 #27

A question whopis01 Aug 2013 #32

hmmmm, it is ONLY used on women regardless of whether it is a legitimate disagreement to dismiss seabeyond Aug 2013 #33

Sorry - I wasn't trying to piss you off whopis01 Aug 2013 #36

Cool, but I hear it often . On du. Mainstream media and almost every pimply faced teenage seabeyond Aug 2013 #37

Just like when your "huge ass" words were so desperately misinterpreted redqueen Aug 2013 #23

Ya. The huge ass seabeyond Aug 2013 #38

thinking further, i also think it is very real that a man is conditioned as the provider seabeyond Aug 2013 #16

I agree Aerows Aug 2013 #18

i had been running a business when i met my husband. had been for five years. seabeyond Aug 2013 #20

The delusion is that these men think they're in competition with *their romantic partners*. redqueen Aug 2013 #22

Feel free to put words in the mouths of others Aerows Aug 2013 #24

This message was self-deleted by its author LanternWaste Sep 2013 #43

Saving this to read later. madamesilverspurs Aug 2013 #19

that would also clearly suggest the hate, blazing hate we see toward women today. seabeyond Aug 2013 #21

On a personal note ismnotwasm Aug 2013 #25

"damages society and causes suffering" redqueen Aug 2013 #28

Since I live with the tangible results of it ismnotwasm Aug 2013 #30

but, dont we all live with the tangible, if we are even half way perceptive. seabeyond Aug 2013 #34

Dismissal...or silence YoungDemCA Sep 2013 #46

exactly. adn that is the real crying shame of it all. it may lessen the woman or the need to seabeyond Aug 2013 #29

Men have control of society ismnotwasm Aug 2013 #31

Not in our house Link Speed Aug 2013 #35

. ismnotwasm Aug 2013 #39

Good on you for being an exception to the rule YoungDemCA Sep 2013 #45

Fools, all of them. I'd love to have a mate who made more than I. Scuba Sep 2013 #40

Men are conditioned to think this way, that professional success is the primary measure geek tragedy Sep 2013 #41

What about different subsets of men? eridani Sep 2013 #42

I do agree with the conclusion Aerows Sep 2013 #44

Perhaps if our society was not structured and based on competition... YoungDemCA Sep 2013 #48

Quite the opposite happened to me when I had an abusive feminist partner IronLionZion Sep 2013 #49

Meh. Sheldon Cooper Sep 2013 #50

If someone doesn't want their partner to succeed, IronLionZion Sep 2013 #52

Because this is the History of Feminism group. Sheldon Cooper Sep 2013 #54

OK. nt IronLionZion Sep 2013 #58

I've been a university prof Shivering Jemmy Sep 2013 #51

It was mission-critical to her IronLionZion Sep 2013 #53

In the spirit of equality, IronLionZion Sep 2013 #55

until recently, men exclusively made more than women. it is a norm, expected and almost always, seabeyond Sep 2013 #56

Not disagreeing with anything you said here IronLionZion Sep 2013 #57

good to know. i probably agree with you more than not. i think it is important to recognize seabeyond Sep 2013 #59