How many times does it need to be proved before people start to care?

[seabeyond]

23. i have started playing a game, just cause i like to. lol. bored. decades of being accessed

for fuckable. it is so clear and easy to see when this is done. the other day in the car, a young guy (and now that milf is such a hoot, the young are looking at the fuckablity of the old women... i assume) did that appraising shit. so i make eye contact. dont drop the eyes. dont turn away and allow him to access qualities. eye.... to eye. was a hoot. the guy and i just eye contacted all the way thru his left hand turn as i sat at the light.

i am doing that more and more because it is a little dance. he looks, we see him look, lower head or look away allowing the accessing. i am not looking down or turning head away, anymore. i break up that little dance. i think i should be able to pick out my veggies without being accessed.

i have also made the eye contact, do a sweep of the man and the accessing (certain look/face, easy to do) and watch the man lower the head and move on. that one is telling and interesting. i would like to see this studied and then get the feed back from men.

i am tired of hearing men say, just appreciating beauty or whatever crap. it is an ownership which is beyond stupid. for a couple decades now, happily married and content with life, i do not need the validation of a man deciding if i am fuckable to feel good about myself. i do not need an ugly old fart approval of being worthy in this society. i let that stuff go a long time ago. now, it is only an irritant.

i see it more. i see it as a privilege. i see it at the point of being rude. and i have my theories why i see it worse today, than a couple decades ago when i was younger. it really should be well the opposite.

that is not to say, in anyway, i am rude to people or have issue with people. all the time, i interact with the public/strangers. i am one of the most connecting people with people outside the house. it is amusing and family think it is funny cause i am such an isolationist, yet, i am so social and can chat with and draw anyone in. i have fun walking thru my day playing with people, and they do, too. old, young, man, woman, child.... doesnt matter. and there are many more men that do not do this, where we will have a chuckle over something and walk away smiling. feeling good.