Confronting Tradition: Weddings and Feminism

[seabeyond]

9. what bothered me were so many of the men, friends, father in law

that created the atmosphere that hubby at the end of freedom. forced down the isle. shackling himself. and i was suppose to just stand there and smile like i was not continually being insulted.

i never had a desire to marry. didnt care about it. after so many years alone and good with it, i found a man i actually enjoyed and envisioned i could live with and not go mad.

i was not going to do the tradition of money spent, diamond engagement ring, being handed over, bachelor party of one last fuck and freedom as if he is being deprived (or seeing the naked woman) or what i felt all the many imbalances geared to raising the man up and belittling the woman.

we were at a family reunion (his) in florida and it was the first time i was meeting his family. four siblings, two married and his parents.

middle of the week he asked me to marry. i told him, could not see doing the whole wedding thing. his mom and my mom would be at each other and we would never make it down the isle. friday morning, we went out in sea does and played.... then took off to the justice of peace that afternoon, telling no one. bought seashell rings on the way. afterwards toasted with champagne and shrimp cocktail. it was wonderful, perfect. i could not see doing it any other way.