Confessions of an ex-sex kitten

[MadrasT]

1. I have mixed feelings about this article.

On one hand, the way she feels about sex now is how I've always felt about it.

On the other hand, for some people, sex isn't always a big deal. And just because I think it's a big deal, it's special, and it is never "casual", and this author seems to think that now... well, that still doesn't mean that everybody has to think that way.

It isn't casual sex in and of itself that I have a problem with. What I more have a problem with, is when the relentless pursuit of casual sex becomes a fixation. Then it starts to look like an addiction. And I don't like it when casual sex is glorified and held up to be some kind of super-cool thing to do.

It works for some people.

It doesn't work for other people.

To me, this is the wrong reason -- and way -- to do casual sex:

I was a confused young woman who had trouble trusting men. Easy sex was a tactic to keep men at arm's length by treating them as conquests. If this sounds like something a guy might do, it was. Alarmed by the power imbalance between men and women, I thought sleeping around would even up the score. I wore my sexuality like a protective suit of armor. My swaggering bravado was a put-on.

There are some people who aren't doing it with that kind of baggage, and if they want to do that, it is fine with me.

Just doesn't work for me.

Problem is, if you don't really *know* the person you are getting naked with, how do you really know what *their* motive is? Are they really just having a casual roll in the hay, or are they working out issues like the author of this article was?

It's a murky pond I don't want to swim in.