NYT: Can women have it all? And who should give it to them?

[Tumbulu]

1. So interesting, I went and read the Atlantic article

and find it so good.

I think that women who work in academia have a very different idea of what the workplace demands of people in both corporate and gov jobs at the highest levels.

I found these few paragraphs interesting:

Yet the decision to step down from a position of power—to value family over professional advancement, even for a time—is directly at odds with the prevailing social pressures on career professionals in the United States. One phrase says it all about current attitudes toward work and family, particularly among elites. In Washington, “leaving to spend time with your family” is a euphemism for being fired. This understanding is so ingrained that when Flournoy announced her resignation last December, TheNew York Times covered her decision as follows:

Ms. Flournoy’s announcement surprised friends and a number of Pentagon officials, but all said they took her reason for resignation at face value and not as a standard Washington excuse for an official who has in reality been forced out. “I can absolutely and unequivocally state that her decision to step down has nothing to do with anything other than her commitment to her family,” said Doug Wilson, a top Pentagon spokesman. “She has loved this job and people here love her.
Think about what this “standard Washington excuse” implies: it is so unthinkable that an official would actually step down to spend time with his or her family that this must be a cover for something else. How could anyone voluntarily leave the circles of power for the responsibilities of parenthood? Depending on one’s vantage point, it is either ironic or maddening that this view abides in the nation’s capital, despite the ritual commitments to “family values” that are part of every political campaign. Regardless, this sentiment makes true work-life balance exceptionally difficult. But it cannot change unless top women speak out.

As an older first time mom, there was no way that I could juggle all the childrearing stuff with my former high powered work life. I had to cut way back on what I do and what I expect of myself professionally and although there are situations where one can do it all, I must say that in the real world that I live in they are few and far between. And what never gets discussed is how exhausting it is and how it is not happy making. Crazy-making at the times in life when patience, compassion and kindness are really what is called for.