women, please tell your experience. some men do not get it. 19, 10pm, college campus

[caseymoz]

36. My, my. I knew we'd agree on something.

To guys, female sexual attraction is totally capricious and inscrutable. Here's what I mean: when a man is physically attracted to a woman, most guys can see what features are attractive. In other words, heterosexual males are more on the same wavelength. The physical features desired are somewhat stereotypical. I mean, T&A, legs, proportion or "curves," and so on.

Guys don't see anything like the same behavior from women. When a woman's physically attracted to a guy, men can't see what's doing it, penis jokes notwithstanding. They conclude that nothing is doing it. The net effect: they think women are flexible about it, when, no, female sexual attraction is actually nothing like that. There may be no gender-wide templates for attractiveness with women, but you do each do have a standard for it.

If a you're not attracted to a guy, there's nothing you can do about it. For a woman to have sex with him anyway will not just be poor sex, but she may just despise him afterward, and he'll despise her for being a disappointing lay.

"Guys should grow up and deal, rather than make up stupid fantasies about why they didn't get the sex they consider so paramount."

I could almost agree, except I don't think it's a matter of making up fantasies. It's more a matter of having a wrong interpretation of reality in adolescence, and then mistrust and anger that grows as a result, leading to suspicion and rage that then makes the thought-error almost impossible to re-examine.