Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

ismnotwasm

(42,674 posts)
54. In retrospect
Mon Aug 13, 2012, 05:08 PM
Aug 2012

I wish I could have helped her more, understood her better. She had a number of problems, and she pissed me off regularly, but I never understood the pain lived with until long after her death.

I've taught the girls, (women now) that she did the best she could with what she had. Still both of them lived in great fear of becoming 'like' her. The older one is so relieved she is a successful and loving parent, that she wants to emulate my oldest, and be a stay at home Mom.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I am very cogniscent of my 2 daughters self image zzaapp Aug 2012 #1
It's just a shame that you women are so hard to get along with seabeyond Aug 2012 #5
No, really? zzaapp Aug 2012 #7
I completely agree ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #2
chills and hugs.... lol. seabeyond Aug 2012 #6
I told my daughter, from the age of 12 ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #22
no kidding seabeyond Aug 2012 #25
What a wonderful thing you did. redqueen Aug 2012 #49
Ah, Dude...Bless your heart. Your daughter is a VERY lucky girl. Raster Aug 2012 #76
As a non-parent Ezlivin Aug 2012 #3
Forty years ago Harlan Ellison exboyfil Aug 2012 #16
+1. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #21
Fathers who respect women,.... i have said this repeatedly seabeyond Aug 2012 #4
agreed ,and that's why it makes me sad to see so many zzaapp Aug 2012 #8
yes, nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #9
Being divorced is not a 'get out of parenting free' card. redqueen Aug 2012 #10
I was speaking more to the idea that zzaapp Aug 2012 #11
What is beneficial to the child is good parenting. redqueen Aug 2012 #15
Then we can agree to disagree. zzaapp Aug 2012 #17
And also possible to assume that the "handicap" of being a single parent is why things are patrice Aug 2012 #59
I was one of those FirstLight Aug 2012 #62
Good for you... redqueen Aug 2012 #64
i am glad you got your daughters out of the situation seabeyond Aug 2012 #65
I have a boy and a girl, the girl is the older one FirstLight Aug 2012 #67
not only so the boy can have repsect, and we talk about that often in our house seabeyond Aug 2012 #68
exactly FirstLight Aug 2012 #69
and you are right. this is the tricky in this comment. i think we know this seabeyond Aug 2012 #12
Yep, and children of divorced parents arent all the same... redqueen Aug 2012 #23
Agreed ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #26
that is our role as women. my niece did not marry the father of her baby.... seabeyond Aug 2012 #28
That is so sad. redqueen Aug 2012 #30
One of the many things that attracted me to my husband ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #42
my brother fought for over a decade and 120k for his daughter, too. seabeyond Aug 2012 #43
In retrospect ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #54
well, exactly. i wanted to help this woman also. seabeyond Aug 2012 #56
You're right ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #57
yes. seabeyond Aug 2012 #58
My daughters were athletes HockeyMom Aug 2012 #13
athletics, music, art.... whatever their interest. that is the path. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #18
I've encouraged my daughter to be as active as possible. xmas74 Aug 2012 #31
that and she gains seabeyond Aug 2012 #32
I hope it works. xmas74 Aug 2012 #35
ah... see, seabeyond Aug 2012 #37
True. xmas74 Aug 2012 #47
Mine are artists and nerds/geeks. :) redqueen Aug 2012 #46
Younger daughter was the first girl to play on JV HockeyMom Aug 2012 #61
i love this story. and i am one to believe most boys and men have it in them seabeyond Aug 2012 #63
almost hate to say it but... Scout Aug 2012 #14
I think so, yes... redqueen Aug 2012 #19
one word. Kardashians. zzaapp Aug 2012 #20
not really. a lot of men feel it is part of their manhood, biology, that they gotta and seabeyond Aug 2012 #24
Oh yes, the 'teen girl vs. mom' trope... redqueen Aug 2012 #33
my kids were not big tv watchers. my niece would turn on disney with tween shows. seabeyond Aug 2012 #39
It's not just the kids, though. CrispyQ Aug 2012 #51
exactly. you are right on. also you will hear parents say it. seabeyond Aug 2012 #52
It does make sense customerserviceguy Aug 2012 #81
ya know... nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #82
The role of the father is to protect the girl from predatory men. chaska Aug 2012 #27
oh bullshit. that is in line with father to husband crap and not the reality. better seabeyond Aug 2012 #29
+1 redqueen Aug 2012 #34
??? McGee from Muskogee Aug 2012 #74
not really. simple logic. tough for some. what is the problem, that a girl be allowed seabeyond Aug 2012 #77
Doing well thanks, hope you are, too. redqueen Aug 2012 #38
lolwut McGee from Muskogee Aug 2012 #75
link? nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #78
Why are you here? ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #79
Never mind ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #80
who are the ones that come back from the dead, zombies? when they hit HOF first seabeyond Aug 2012 #83
It must be hard to be so bitter... redqueen Aug 2012 #84
hey... ya know. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #85
Dumbasses as well ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #86
so that those that have issue can say.... see how many blocked seabeyond Aug 2012 #87
I disagree. MadrasT Aug 2012 #40
When dad teaches daughter that all men are predators... redqueen Aug 2012 #44
expect from potential partners? What will she settle for? seabeyond Aug 2012 #45
Post removed Post removed Aug 2012 #70
This post was unnecessary, a hit and run? Why? ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #71
Well I, for one, am eternally grateful MadrasT Aug 2012 #72
No shit ismnotwasm Aug 2012 #73
Bright side... redqueen Aug 2012 #88
About a year ago, my 12 year old daughter and I were at the Mall ... JoePhilly Aug 2012 #36
you are right on. us women have a lot to work on also. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #41
Come on, Joe... don't be such a prude. redqueen Aug 2012 #48
LOL ... I look to my daughter (now 13) to help me make such distinctions. JoePhilly Aug 2012 #50
Kudos to your fab daughter! CrispyQ Aug 2012 #53
Thanks ... and of course, as any Dad would say, she is awesome. JoePhilly Aug 2012 #55
Yes, it's more than tv & these music figures, who drop the Lord'$ name at opportune time$, and yet patrice Aug 2012 #60
That's been going on for decades though... redqueen Aug 2012 #66
Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»History of Feminism»Mommy vs. media in sexual...»Reply #54