Scapegoated for reporting

[jfz9580m]

49. Blah

Just working on something OkItsJustMe.
This may or may not make sense.

I have to switch to this mode now where I accept that some duties may not feel real or material because politics is not taken seriously and there are layers and levels of idiocy here.

Embittering. And for safety, given my history a sort of armed coexistence is the order of the day with lousy institutions. It is hard to explain.
But it is tied to climate change and this is like Covid 2.0.

I worked at a hell once and it was very banality of evil. As is everything.

I don’t enjoy socializing. So I am trying to view it this way so it goes back to being like work.
I picked an antagonist - a punching bag who is strong enough to take it, not stupid and unlikely to have any feelings I care about and most importantly neither pliable nor susceptible to flattery.
I used to think he was out of my league as an antagonist. I realize with grim amusement that I no longer feel that way and I wouldn’t hit below the belt. But his signature obnoxiousness on the one hand keeps it real. Anyway it is not a popularity contest and he can bloody well clean up as someone benefiting from this chaotic world and at least as responsible as anyone.
He is not cool like Dr. Fauci so there is no awkward human compunction.

It is a scientist.

But importantly a person one can safely fight to death with in an imaginary/metaphoric playhouse without it being a joke.
I thought about something I saw you arguing with another DUer about. I am not getting into all that. I stay out of fights inside the community. Too fatiguing.
But this guy could claim it is a straw man.

But it isn’t. These are all institutions he has benefitted from which have been a huge nuisance to me. And he has to buy into all this bs way more than me and to that extent it is his fault. He is not stupid or lightweight so it is easier. And he is an asshole so that works. And he can fend for himself

This war against everyone is exhausting. He is easy to imbue with every quality I dislike in a human being while not being scarily stupid.

I dislike stepping on soft ground when clearly this is hell. And this isn’t the time for friendship or human empathy. But I don’t want lectures about time wasting from the kind of guy who drives people away from science and would polarize society further if he stepped outside science.

I don’t mind a fair fight. Don’t throw idiots with an asymmetric advantage at me.