Bernie Sanders

EEO

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37. Hillary Clinton Invites Bernie Sanders to Concede

Thu Apr 30, 2015, 05:16 PM

Apr 2015

Hillary Clinton Invites Bernie Sanders to Concede

::SNIP::

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton invited Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont to concede the party's nomination to her. Clinton had just finished giving a speech at Columbia University when she learned the independent senator from Vermont officially announced he was becoming a member of the Democratic Party in order to challenge her.

"I invite Senator Sanders to do what is best for America and concede the Democratic presidential nomination to me," stated Clinton. She sipped some water from a Hillary 2016 water bottle before adding, "He can show his patriotism and his love of democracy by allowing Americans to choose between me and whatever cuckcoo bananas clown the Republicans come up with."

::SNIP::

"Hear me, Bernie?" asked Clinton of her first challenger. She stopped in front of an open door to the black vehicle she had arrived in. "I will scorch the earth and make sensible policies you agree with sound like they are the worst kind of communism, especially if you go after Wall Street. I can only go so far to the left to get what I want and you do not want to be in my way."

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I hate to break it to you folks but... [View all] tk2kewl Apr 2015 OP

Got to love Borowitz. L0oniX Apr 2015 #1

Got it right again BrotherIvan Apr 2015 #2

The part about not being able to raise a billion dollars has been very seriously given as a djean111 Apr 2015 #3

We'll see. Meanwhile, America desperately needs to hear his voice and merrily Apr 2015 #20

I just signed up to send him money every month. CrispyQ Apr 2015 #27

... BeanMusical Apr 2015 #4

Very nice! tk2kewl Apr 2015 #5

Thanks! BeanMusical Apr 2015 #6

Most Excellent Post... Thank You !!! WillyT Apr 2015 #7

Thanks WillyT! BeanMusical Apr 2015 #8

Cute! (I wish I could print that uniformly! Curses! Outdone by an emoticon!) nt merrily Apr 2015 #21

Totally cool! n/t L0oniX Apr 2015 #25

Love it! CrispyQ Apr 2015 #28

very cool angrychair Apr 2015 #30

So very cool! :-D Pooka Fey Apr 2015 #35

Nevertheless, Bernie still has the legal right to run for President. At least for now. nt Zorra Apr 2015 #9

This should be onion material because it does not put our form of government in a good light AuntPatsy Apr 2015 #10

Borowitz is like the onion. christx30 Apr 2015 #17

See, and I think it should be NYT and LAT, ABC, CBS, NBC and MSNBC material. merrily Apr 2015 #22

K& R --Only half year old not yr and a half. nt ErikJ Apr 2015 #11

just realized that myself too tk2kewl Apr 2015 #12

Wonder if Bernie will be on the network shows on Sunday. That would be nice and still_one Apr 2015 #13

Love it! Omaha Steve Apr 2015 #14

Well I will personally kick in . . FairWinds Apr 2015 #15

MOI Iwillnevergiveup Apr 2015 #16

I think I can throw in a few bucks! smokey nj Apr 2015 #18

I kicked in before he announced. merrily Apr 2015 #23

+1 L0oniX Apr 2015 #24

k and r...nt Stuart G Apr 2015 #19

kick midnight Apr 2015 #26

Did he have anything to say about Clinton??? blkmusclmachine Apr 2015 #29

yes and it was good Ichingcarpenter Apr 2015 #32

This is total bullshit SmittynMo Apr 2015 #31

This was Borowitz and all tongue in cheek. nm rhett o rick Apr 2015 #39

You know that this is tongue in cheek by Borowitz?? nm rhett o rick Apr 2015 #41

Love it! tazkcmo Apr 2015 #33

"Clearly he (Bernie) didn't think this through" WTF? Oh wait, it's irony --- Pooka Fey Apr 2015 #34

This message was self-deleted by its author EEO Apr 2015 #36

Hillary Clinton Invites Bernie Sanders to Concede EEO Apr 2015 #37

This is why he could become the next President of the United States. RiverNoord Apr 2015 #38

Another Borowitz Great Satire: "Hillary Expected to Adopt All of Sanders�s Positions by Noon" KoKo Apr 2015 #40