Claude Taylor, twitter - brilliant - "Franken me once, shame on you...

[betsuni]

2. Person paranoid about weight: Franken touched my fat roll!

Person paranoid about dirty hair: Biden smelled my hair! Person complains about joke photo, there's a photo of her doing similar thing. Person complains about Biden coming up behind her and putting his hands on her shoulders, there's a photo of her behind Biden touching his shoulder. Well, eight's the magic number.

What's next. "I accidentally farted and Biden came up to me, shook my hand and touched my arm. I know he must have smelled my fart. I was powerless to stop it. This made me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. I thought, why is the Vice President of the United States smelling my fart? The smell was particularly bad because I had eaten a large bean burrito with extra cheese for lunch. My self-confidence has plummeted and I am still deeply upset that Joe Biden smelled my fart. I cannot even think about Mexican food without re-experiencing the trauma. Not even guacamole."