Why teens call Bernie Sanders "Daddy"

[ismnotwasm]

47. What the actual fuck?

Ok. You got me. This is satire.

“I call Bernie Sanders Daddy because he is always watching over me. Every time I consider doing something bad, like hard drugs, or not paying the meter, I hear a heavy Brooklyn accent echoing in my head, talking about the shrinking middle class. It’s my Daddy, Bernie Sanders, telling me to rethink my actions,” said Breanna Ghazali (@JollyGhazali), a 19-year-old Des Moines Area Community College student from Urbandale, Iowa.

Bernie is their Bill Clinton.
“With his age and his status, I’d love to be his Monica Lewinsky,” said 18-year-old Kody (@k_horvath23), a Florida State University student from Tallahassee, Florida.

My Personal favorite;

They are being controlled by a shapeshifting pizza demon named Nefarious who wants to pursue a romantic relationship with their label manager, Matt.
“I call Bernie Sanders Daddy because I am being controlled by a shapeshifting pizza demon named Nefarious who wants to pursue a romantic relationship with my label manager, Matt,” said Justin Andrew (@falsepanic), a 21-year-old University of Tennessee student from Knoxville, Tennessee.