The
Top Ten Conservative Idiots (Week 2)
January
22, 2001
Inauguration Week Special
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a friend about the Top Ten Conservative Idiots
Stiff Inaugural Week competition pushed five Conservative Idiots off
of the list, including heavyweight Jeb Bush. George Dubya jumped out of
nowhere to the top of the list, mainly due to his new status as president
of the United States. Relative unknown Larry Gatlin explodes from obscurity
to the number two spot, thanks to his incredibly stupid comment about
Katherine Harris (4). Ashcroft drops two slots to number three, and is
holding steady. Rush Limbaugh (8) makes his first of what will likely
be many appearances.
| THIS
WEEK |
|
LAST
WEEK |
TOTAL
WEEKS |
| 1 |
George
W. Bush - He needed his vice president and his dad to help him
open his umbrella. A taste of things to come? |
NEW! |
1 |
| 2 |
Larry
Gatlin - At Florida Inaugural Ball, the singer makes most outrageous
quote of '01: "In France it was Joan of Arc; in the Crimea it was
Florence Nightingale; in the deep south there was Rosa Parks; in India
there was Mother Teresa and in Florida there was Katherine Harris" |
NEW! |
1 |
| 3 |
John
Ashcroft - At confirmation hearings, Ashcroft tries to moderate
his extreme positions on the issues. We don't buy it. |
1 |
2 |
| 4 |
Katherine
Harris - Now she's being compared to Rosa Parks. Yeah, it was
really great when Rosa Parks threw away everyone's votes. |
3 |
2 |
| 5 |
William
Rehnquist - It must've been really cool to swear in the guy you
hand-picked to be president. Did anyone notice the secret handshake
after the oath? |
NEW! |
1 |
| 6 |
Tom
DeLay - Still haven't heard much from the meanest man on Capitol
Hill, or from his lackey Hastert. Once people stop paying attention,
he'll show Bush who's boss. |
5 |
2 |
| 7 |
Jim
Gilmore - Wants to spend tobacco settlement money for beloved
car tax cut; stupid idea rewarded with chairmanship of RNC. |
8 |
2 |
| 8 |
Rush
Limbaugh - Nothing much to report this week, except that we think
he's still the "Biggest" Conservative Idiot - if you know
what we mean. |
NEW! |
1 |
| 9 |
Gale
Norton - Laid low this week while other nominees sailed through
confirmation. Hurry up Gale, we think Linda Chavez is outside in the
car honking the horn. |
2 |
2 |
| 10 |
Dick
Cheney - Deft handling of recent umbrella crisis shows that he's
a smooth political operator with his hands firmly on the levers of
power. |
NEW! |
1 |
Other popular nominees this week: Bob Barr, Phil Gramm, James
Baker. Dropping off the list: Jeb Bush (4), Bob Jones III (6),
Karl Rove (7), Spence Abraham (9), Linda Chavez (10)
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